Alaska Adventures: Navigating the Unexpected

It's not often that you find yourself stuck just off the interstate with a bus full of teenagers...unless you are Jarrett and me, that is!
Yes, once again we found ourselves stranded by bus issues a mere 45 minutes to an hour into our Alaska Mission trip.
But unlike before, this time we had a literal plane to catch.
Game changer!
Eventually getting there isn't the goal; it's getting there on TIME!
We had to make some fast decisions and execute those plans ASAP:
search closest chick fil a, order and pick up lunch; find vehicles to haul us and luggage, confirm numbers, get those vehicles en route to us; eat; unload stuff; reload stuff; load people...GET TO AIRPORT!
Whew!
Parents, church members, and friends stepped up to accommodate our unexpected needs, and with such willing servant attitudes!
We could not have done it without them!
We made it to the airport in record time and were even able to eat supper before the first flight to Phoenix!

So today, I am thankful for the reminder to remain pliable and supple in the hands of the Potter.
It is so easy to have our days and moments, our attitudes and intentions, our goals and dreams cast in stone, waiting impatiently for the Lord to sign off on our creations with His blessing.

But God is not begging us to let Him in on what WE are doing...no...
He wants us to get in on what HE is doing!

He is asking us to surrender and give Him the freedom to CREATE
our lives,
our moments,
beautiful,
unexpected,
stretched,
molded
lives and moments
that bear the mark of their Creator.

What an opportunity we have when life brings the unexpected.
Don't resist it, NAVIGATE it with Holy Spirit power.
A masterpiece awaits.

But now, O Lord, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we are all the work of your hand.
Isaiah 64:8 ESV

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26 ESV

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
Galatians 5:25 ESV

Alaska Adventures: The Promise

"Promise me that you will come back."
These were the words of my 9 year old little girl as I kissed her goodbye before we left on our mission trip to Alaska.
Traveling is not something new for our family. Summer often brings weeks of ministry where we are together, but also those where we are apart.
But this was the first time she expressed such a sentiment...an understanding of the uncertainties that lurk amidst the ways of this world.
But she needed me to say it, needed to hear from my lips that I would indeed do everything in my power come back to her.
And so I looked into those big brown eyes and reminded her of my love for her and that it was my full intention to come back.
She soaked up that reassurance and smiled the biggest of smiles, her mind now skipping on to the other frolics of a 9 year old, content.

And isn't this the way we are with Father God?
We come to a season in life where we are so painfully aware of its uncertainties, it's pains and pangs, and we say aloud with our spirits and lives,
"Daddy, promise me you are coming back."
What we are really asking for: hope.
Hope and peace in knowing that where we are is NOT where we will stay.
Oh, that we would trust with the faith of a child
His promise of return in days to come,
His provision of power in our present,
His complete rescue from our past,
and
LIVE those truths out loud.

Soak up the Father's rock solid reassurance of His love for you, His plan for you, His purpose for you and walk forward in the joy and contentment that can only come from Him.

"Every word of God proves true.
He is shield to those who take refuge in Him."
Proverbs 30:5

"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.'"
Jeremiah 29:11

Assuming the Normal...blah, blah, blah.

It was a normal, routine night in our household. Quiet had began to blanket the rooms with the sleepiness of bedtime while Jarrett and I step into our respective roles, as if on autopilot. Everyone had been gearing down for the night by reading in bed, some willingly, some...not so much.
I went to Jonathan to give him his arms-out-from-under-the-cover hug and hand squeezes goodnight. But, I had a sense he wanted me to linger. As I stood up to tell him goodnight and that I love him, I saw for sure in his eyes thoughts that longed to climb out, words that needed to be said.
"What is it buddy?" I asked, expecting the typical conversation of waking up and wondering if it's ok for him to come get me.
I assumed too little.
He broke his silence, "Mama, I started reading that book Who Is John F. Kennedy?."
"That's good!", I said to my non-lover of reading, a little surprised by the brevity of the statement and wondering if there was more.
I rubbed his back a little more and then he rolled over and looked up at me seriously and urgently.
"Mama", he said through 11 year old efforts to disguise a voice beginning to quiver, "in that book it was saying how his mom was never really there for him because she would go on these fashion trips and visit Europe all the time and stuff."
"Oh that's sad." I interrupted, poised to pounce on this teachable moment that presented itself.
He quickly stopped me from rambling with that thought.
"Yeah I know, I know...and it just got me to thinkin'... It got me to thinkin how you are ALWAYS there for me...and...and...", through tears he continued, "I just wanna say thank you. I love you, Mama."

Speechless.

I fumbled through the flood of tears in my throat, "Jonathan, you just filled my heart full buddy. I love you....and I wouldn't miss a second."

To think, I could've missed that moment because I was too stuck in going through the motions, of walking zombie like through the monotony of my routine!
I expected the normal.
I anticipated so little.
I underestimated the gift because I was looking past it to the next thing.

You never know what joy is in store for you right where you are, especially if you never stop to see it.

Don't let the routine usurp the glorious in your life and don't let opportunities pass you by for you to break others out of that routine by being the bearer His glory in their life.

You and I were designed to be difference makers...and to readily expect and anticipate our Great God to make a difference IN us and THROUGH us.

Whose heart will you choose to fill?

Mamas and Daddys...let it start with us.
Be present.
Be His.
Be the difference maker in your child's life.
Moments like these will make you eternally glad that did.


"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
(Matthew 5:14, 16 ESV)

My Chained Heart

"My heart is chained to the unchainable Jesus."

This statement by Louie Giglio at Passion 2012 has been planted deeply inside my spirit.

Who would think that a statement about being chained could be the
catalyst of freedom,
of life for these dry bones?

But my destiny, my purpose is not chained
to what I was,
what I've done,
my failures,
my losses,
my insufficiency...
NO!

My destiny, my purpose is chained to the
Grace-Giving,
Failure-Forgiving,
Always-Winning,
More than Enough God that I love!

I don't have to try live my life FOR victory...I have the privilege to live my life FROM victory because I am a daughter of the King!

I have chained myself to the unchainable Jesus!

 John15:5 

"...Apart from me, you can do nothing."

So what HAVE you chained yourself to?
addictions,
wrong beliefs,
circumstances,
acts against you,
actions by you,
the past,
the future,
...and the list could go on and on and on...

Let it go! Grab onto His Grace! Move the chain!
Learn to remain....remain in Jesus!

So what WILL you chain yourself to?

Bishop T.D. Jakes speaks to this truth-in his own unique way- in this clip from "Let Them Walk"...see for yourself...

Chain yourself to Freedom.
Chain yourself to Victory.
Chain yourself to Peace.
Chain yourself to Wisdom.
Chain yourself to Truth.
Chain yourself to Love.
Chain yourself to Power.
Chain yourself to Healing.
Chain yourself to Deliverance.
Chain yourself to the Lover of Your Soul.
Let the rest of it WALK!

Chain yourself to the unchainable Jesus!

Tweet/Post this: "My heart is chained to the unchainable Jesus."@louiegiglio #forHisglory

Heart Ramblings

You.

That's all I really care about.

You.

I want more every time I taste and see Your goodness.

Every time I find You I just can't belive that You would trust me with another piece and portion of Who You are.

I believe You.

I believe that what You have in store, I cannot even begin to imagine.

I believe that You are poised and ready to be all I ever need You to be...

...if I will just surrender.

Really say, "Your will, Your way"

Really step out on faith that moves mountains.

Remaining comfortable,

stagnant living,
shallow giving,

gasping for air breathing,

my agendas seething...

I can live like this NO MORE.

I cannot watch my life whiz by uninterrupted.
I am dizzied by my own lack of action,
My own refusal to let You press pause.
I cannot do this poor excuse of doing anymore.
I cannot be this comfortable living,
parasite Believer.
This Pharisee, pining after rules instead of God's heart,
on a rule following,
attendance taking,
activity going
sugar-high...
Justifying my own agendas because they are outside the boxes around me,
Yet, they are boxes of my own creation, just the same.
They are not His.
No.
He did not create these rules I keep,
This track record I collect and store to display somewhere- a hall that does not exist.
No.
He is a box-breaking God
who desires box-breaking worshippers...
Spilling the messiness of their oil of worship all His feet
And meshing it with  the sacrifice of
Tears
Joy
and Thankfulness
and Awe
and...
and Nearness.
Even when the room comes to a halt...
Even when whispers deafen...
Even when the burn of stares singe the edges of my heart...
Even then...
Press in.
Press in further.
I won't stop until I'm at His feet.
Because that's where it all disappears.
It all fades away as I fall at the feet of the Object of my affection...
This Jesus.
This is it.
He is It.
He is All.
He is Everything.
Yes.
YOU are.
That's what I believe.
This is what I know is Truth:
You are Truth.
And when the world tells me that I am confused,
a distraction to those seeking outward reverence above a life messily sacrificed on Your altar...
THAT is when I will just RUN to Your feet, look You in Your face,
look Truth in the eye,
Feel Truth wrap His arms around me and whisper my name...
Truth sings over me with a voice of rejoicing.
Yes, He delights in holding this messy sinner,
who runs crying,
unworthy,
but BOLDLY approaching the throne of Grace!
He finds joy in my feeble attempts to rightly worship unhindered by this rotten flesh.
Because there is no "right",
Because there is no list of rules
He only asks me to come.
Really.
He just wants me...
even more than I want Him.
What?
I know.
It's crazy.

How can this God want me?

Why would He want this pile of issues and shortcomings?

Because I am His.

Because He knew me before I took a breath.

He formed these moments I am living and called each one into existence.

He's walked each one and laid each moment down,

Packed full with His presence and provision...

If I'll reach out...

If I will see.
If I will look past my own insufficiencies that I have allowed to lay down walls of limits

amidst these moments He has made for me.

My vision is limited by me.

The horizon,

endless,

unlimited potential,

and beauty...

THAT'S what He created.

So,

I want to see.

I want to see past the limits I have bricked up all around me.

I want to see with Spirit eyes...

Blinded to all else.

Because that's when Grace experienced is labeled...

Amazing.
Because what else do you say when a

poor,

destitute,

bitter,

enemy

is freely forgiven,

joyfully welcomed,

given this Love,

and immeasurable riches?

What else do you say when unmerited favor is handed out

to one like me...

...and so lavishly?

What else do you say when the rightful hand of death,

this death sentence I so deserve,

is paid for by Another?

What do you say when this wretched ife is not only forgiven-

it is proclaimed,

declared NOT GUILTY?!?

What can I do but shout,

"GRACE!"

"AMAZING!"
And what else can I offer...
but my life in return?

No.

It's not enough.

No, it is not payment.

Because THAT is a debt I cannot repay.

Jesus already took care of that.

Nope...

It is my offering.

My thanks.

My joy to give.

And I am beginning to understand that is it His joy, Your joy Father, to receive.

In all its messiness,

in all its ridiculous junk...

It is His joy to receive it because...

That's how He loves.

Far beyond what I can understand...

He loves me.

He desires me in the middle of my mess because He has His cleansing blood

ready and waiting,

His robe of righteousness to bestow on me.

And I...

I don't deserve it...

But...

That's how He loves.

Yep.

Be Still

"Be still, and know that I am God. 

I will be exalted among the nations, 

I will be exalted in the earth!"

(Psalm 46:10 ESV)

I need to give you a tiny bit of back-story on how this verse and how the picture to your right changed my life...so roll with me on this...

When I was 19 years old, I truly began investing in my relationship with the One who had invested everything in me.
I craved time with Him, to know Him more and to understand His desires for me. 
During that time I began to pray for the Lord to give me a life verse- a verse that I could stand on throughout my life, and hold to that specific treasure that He had given me to remind me that, with Him, my account is never depleted or overdrawn. :)
Shortly after, the Lord gave me Psalm 46:10.
 I am sure that you may have heard it or heard it referenced, or maybe at least the "Be still..." part.
Over the years it has been such water to my Spirit, such refreshing to my soul. From time to time, I'll revisit it the verse to study and find out what God wants to show me fresh and new.

One day, several years ago, as I did this, I decided to look up the verse in different translations of the Bible in order to study and gain fuller understanding.
As I did, read the New American Standard Bible version.
I have to be honest, at first reading, I had a major, "Huh?" moment:

"Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

(Psalm 46:10 NASB)

 "Cease striving..." ???
My perfectionist, people pleaser, affirmation seeker conversation with the Lord went something like this...

"Cease striving? What Lord? You mean, you want me to stop trying? You want me to stop doing, stop seeking ways to be better for you, stop trying to do great things for you? But I thought that was what you wanted for me: To be the best I could be?!?  If I "cease striving" then I will stop growing....right?"

See, the problem was, I was looking at the word "striving" the wrong way. 
In our culture, and more importantly in my follow the rules, all or nothing, give it all you got mind,  it's more commonly synonymous with "aspiring" or carries the connotation of  "goal-setting".

But when I looked up "striving" in the dictionary, this is what I found:
To struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance 
To exert oneself vigorously; to try hard
To make strenuous efforts toward any goal
To contend in opposition, battle or any conflict; compete

What I saw as solid and steady effort from myself, God saw as pointless struggle and strain, that ultimately only brought one result: frustration.

Why?
Because it was MY strength, MY efforts, MY ideas, MY goals, MY, MY, MY!

Immediately the Lord gave me a vision of this verse: A Chinese finger trap.
You know...that thing that you put one finger in each side and when you pull to get your fingers out, they are stuck.(see picture at top)
Although its just your fingers, there is something about it that brings about panic...and make your fingers feel claustrophobic(if that's possible!).
Once your fingers are in, and you keep pulling and struggling against the trap, the fact is...you are not going to get out.
You are stuck.
Trapped.
And no matter how hard you try and try and pull and pull, panic sets in as you realize, you cannot get out.

How do you overcome this little trap of a toy?

You stop...Relax...."cease striving"... And then, slowly pull out one finger, then the other.
The result? Freedom.

The Lord used the vision of this little toy to reveal to me a core truth of this verse I had been missing:
All too often, I get too consumed with struggling to put forth the best that I can give when the best thing for me to do is REST in the perfection that He is!

The Lord is saying "Yes, I want YOU to stop trying, YOU to stop struggling, YOU to stop putting forth strenuous effort, YOU to stop contending...and let ME do the work IN YOU and THROUGH YOU!"

Cease striving.

It's how you go from good things to GOD things.
It's how you go from your best to HIS best. 
HIS strength, HIS effort, HIS ideas, HIS goals...

Cease striving.

Whatever you are going through, in the hands of the Almighty God...the God that is exalted above all the nations...it is merely a little wicker toy of a trap over which He has already secured the victory! 

I am still learning to live this truth day in and day out, but when I allow it to permeate my spirit, it transforms my attitude, my choices, my outlook, my emotions...even my health.

The effort I need to make is simply this:
BE STILL. 
Be His.

"God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!"

(Exodus 14:14 MSG)

Share His Truth...Tweet or post this today:
Don't b consumed w/ struggling 2 b YOUR best...REST in the perfection that HE is! #psalm4610 #forHisglory

9/11 Remembering What I Felt...

I usually don't remember a lot about how I felt on any particular day.
Maybe what I experienced, but rarely the specifics of what I felt.

But then, something happens that sears a feeling into your core, into your mind, into your memory....and thats what happened on September 11, 2001.

I have always remembered what happened that day, what I was doing...but I don't aways let or allow myself remember what I felt...to go to that tender place in my memories.

This year, as I was doing a unit study about the events of that day in our Homeschool, I thought about getting out my journal from that time to see if it might help convey my heart during that time to my children.
I had never re-read what I wrote.
But when I did, it brought back not just memories, but deep seated feelings that had flooded over me that September 10 years ago, as a 24 year old wife, mother of 2 (at the time), seeking my place and way in the world and His Kingdom...

What follows is that journal entry from Friday, September 14, 2011...my first after the attacks:

"I have so much sadness inside of me...I just don't know how to let it out.
I feel at times as though I could cry for days, other times I just want to scream, others times I could do it all at once.
Our nation has been attacked...but more than that, our spirits have taken a blow.
I keep taking deep breaths to try to get it all out, and it just can't reach deep enough.
This is affecting me in a way I just cannot explain.
And I know that it has only just begun!
God show me, reveal to me what it is that You want me to know, what it is You want me to do!
How do You want me to change?
How do You what me to react?
Right now I am scared.
I am sad.
I am mad.
I am overwhelmed.
I am so many things that I can't put into words.
But I feel them.
I definitely feel them.
I am drawn to the stories and the pictures. I can't pull myself away.
I sing constantly in my mind. I feel like it's the only way to push through...I feel like I can get it out that way.
The words that flow from my mouth comfort my heart and my mind.
Thank you Lord for song, for words that can be lifted to You in praise, in longing, in thanksgiving.
You restore me through the gift you've bestowed on me.
How precious, how priceless.
Your love is so great!
I know Your arms are all around me.
You call me to Your lap to sit for a while and I settle in the comfort of Your never-ending, ever reaching, constant and healing love.
Thank you Jesus for holding me for more than just a little while.
Thank you for understanding that it feels so hard to smile.
The emptiness that seems to grow is something that only you can touch...with You only will it fade.
I praise You Lord for Your comfort.
Thank You for healing and caring about my fears.
Jesus, please help me to hold You through them, to know that You are greater and stronger than anything I could ever encounter.
God, please show me- clearly and surely- what You want FROM me, what You want FOR me!
Speak to me loudly and clearly, Jesus!
I want to know You more!
Use me Jesus!
Amen."

So on this tenth anniversary, I will remember.
I will remember what happened that day...what I felt that day...what others may have felt and experienced...
I will remember what the Lord planted in my spirit that day and I will nurture it further so that the life and fruit He desired to see in me as a result of it all will be evident...so it will bring Him glory...so it will make Him obvious!

I flipped back a page and saw the last pre-9/11 journal entry:

"Be open! Sometimes God doesn't change your circumstances; He changes you!!"

Wow.
Choose to remember how you felt that crisp blue-skied day of Septmeber 11, 2001... and let it fuel your passion to press into the Lord and go forward with a battle cry to further His Kingdom in the face of whatever may be on your horizon!
And I will never take for granted the opportunity to do so.

Yes, I will remember.

 Spread His Word, Tweet/Post this:
#IWillRemember #IWillMakeGodObvious #911