Heart Ramblings

You.

That's all I really care about.

You.

I want more every time I taste and see Your goodness.

Every time I find You I just can't belive that You would trust me with another piece and portion of Who You are.

I believe You.

I believe that what You have in store, I cannot even begin to imagine.

I believe that You are poised and ready to be all I ever need You to be...

...if I will just surrender.

Really say, "Your will, Your way"

Really step out on faith that moves mountains.

Remaining comfortable,

stagnant living,
shallow giving,

gasping for air breathing,

my agendas seething...

I can live like this NO MORE.

I cannot watch my life whiz by uninterrupted.
I am dizzied by my own lack of action,
My own refusal to let You press pause.
I cannot do this poor excuse of doing anymore.
I cannot be this comfortable living,
parasite Believer.
This Pharisee, pining after rules instead of God's heart,
on a rule following,
attendance taking,
activity going
sugar-high...
Justifying my own agendas because they are outside the boxes around me,
Yet, they are boxes of my own creation, just the same.
They are not His.
No.
He did not create these rules I keep,
This track record I collect and store to display somewhere- a hall that does not exist.
No.
He is a box-breaking God
who desires box-breaking worshippers...
Spilling the messiness of their oil of worship all His feet
And meshing it with  the sacrifice of
Tears
Joy
and Thankfulness
and Awe
and...
and Nearness.
Even when the room comes to a halt...
Even when whispers deafen...
Even when the burn of stares singe the edges of my heart...
Even then...
Press in.
Press in further.
I won't stop until I'm at His feet.
Because that's where it all disappears.
It all fades away as I fall at the feet of the Object of my affection...
This Jesus.
This is it.
He is It.
He is All.
He is Everything.
Yes.
YOU are.
That's what I believe.
This is what I know is Truth:
You are Truth.
And when the world tells me that I am confused,
a distraction to those seeking outward reverence above a life messily sacrificed on Your altar...
THAT is when I will just RUN to Your feet, look You in Your face,
look Truth in the eye,
Feel Truth wrap His arms around me and whisper my name...
Truth sings over me with a voice of rejoicing.
Yes, He delights in holding this messy sinner,
who runs crying,
unworthy,
but BOLDLY approaching the throne of Grace!
He finds joy in my feeble attempts to rightly worship unhindered by this rotten flesh.
Because there is no "right",
Because there is no list of rules
He only asks me to come.
Really.
He just wants me...
even more than I want Him.
What?
I know.
It's crazy.

How can this God want me?

Why would He want this pile of issues and shortcomings?

Because I am His.

Because He knew me before I took a breath.

He formed these moments I am living and called each one into existence.

He's walked each one and laid each moment down,

Packed full with His presence and provision...

If I'll reach out...

If I will see.
If I will look past my own insufficiencies that I have allowed to lay down walls of limits

amidst these moments He has made for me.

My vision is limited by me.

The horizon,

endless,

unlimited potential,

and beauty...

THAT'S what He created.

So,

I want to see.

I want to see past the limits I have bricked up all around me.

I want to see with Spirit eyes...

Blinded to all else.

Because that's when Grace experienced is labeled...

Amazing.
Because what else do you say when a

poor,

destitute,

bitter,

enemy

is freely forgiven,

joyfully welcomed,

given this Love,

and immeasurable riches?

What else do you say when unmerited favor is handed out

to one like me...

...and so lavishly?

What else do you say when the rightful hand of death,

this death sentence I so deserve,

is paid for by Another?

What do you say when this wretched ife is not only forgiven-

it is proclaimed,

declared NOT GUILTY?!?

What can I do but shout,

"GRACE!"

"AMAZING!"
And what else can I offer...
but my life in return?

No.

It's not enough.

No, it is not payment.

Because THAT is a debt I cannot repay.

Jesus already took care of that.

Nope...

It is my offering.

My thanks.

My joy to give.

And I am beginning to understand that is it His joy, Your joy Father, to receive.

In all its messiness,

in all its ridiculous junk...

It is His joy to receive it because...

That's how He loves.

Far beyond what I can understand...

He loves me.

He desires me in the middle of my mess because He has His cleansing blood

ready and waiting,

His robe of righteousness to bestow on me.

And I...

I don't deserve it...

But...

That's how He loves.

Yep.

Fuge Panama City 2011

Fuge Panama City 2011

We made it!
Well, almost, that is.
We're currently in a hotel near the camp location and will check in at camp just after lunch tomorrow.
Tonight, the students have had a blast swimming, hanging out together, eating loads of pizza, and generally taking run of the place!

We have been so proud of their conduct and attitudes on the way down and here at the hotel.
I pray it is indicative of the week ahead with this great group of students!

Tonight Jarrett challenged the youth to begin to thinking about the magnitude of the gift they have been given in salvation through Jesus Christ. 
And I couldn't help but wonder myself...

What does my life declare that I value the most?
My words can proclaim many things, but my life declares the truth.

If someone simply watched my life, and were asked that question, what would they say?
Would they see passion for a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, passion to tell others about Him, passion to live out His desires?

Would they see a life being shaped by Jesus
or
a life trying to shove Jesus somewhere in the midst of it?

I am praying this week that we are all challenged to ask hard questions, hear hard answers, and do hard things.
I pray that whether for the first time ever or for the first time in a long time, Jesus would take His rightful place on the throne of our lives, and we would passionately, and with complete abandon, give Him the glory, honor and respect due His name!

What about you?

We would never simply just stay in the hotel this one night, then never actually go to the camp, yet come back and tell you how great the camp was.
What a waste of money, of time, of effort! How absurd!
What a pitiful comparison to the true reality of Fuge!....right?

Then why should any of us be content to come so close to a true experience with Jesus, yet leave without ever having actually gotten to the place where allowed His tranformation power affect us, boasting all the while of how great the experience was, that we have been where He is and allowed Him to dwell in us?

Empty words.
Empty actions.
Empty lives.

Don't be satisfied with "almost".
Let your LIFE say,  
"I made it! 
I have come fully into His presence...and I am forever changed!"

The Tour That Saved a Life

The next time God takes you on an extended tour of a certain area, even one you aren't too excited about visiting- you may want to stop and listen.
He may just have a reason for the tour.

This morning, God did just that.
We went to visit the medical clinic sponsored by the ministry we worked with in Chinandega. I knew about the clinic and generally what they did there, and had seen it several times as we had passed from time to time.
So today, in all honesty, I did not want to take time away from the mission work I had in mind- which was already cut to a half day-  in order to see the clinic...but we did.

I will admit, I was not too engaged in it all as we began our tour.
On top of that, the tour seemed to be taking much longer than I really cared to spend.
 But I did learn a lot about what they offered there and I also was able to pray for healing with a lady in the emergency area and that opportunity was a blessing for sure.

But I never considered that I would be  using the knowledge I gained on that tour of a that place I didn't really care to be...

We split up as a mission team- some of us going to do construction and feeding/evangelism in one barrio, and some of us going to do feeding/evangelism in another barrio.
I was with the feeding/evangelism in the same barrio with construction.
Because we got to the work we had purposes to do a little later than we had intended, we were in full gear trying to prep the trash bags full of food-with dull knives I might add- so that we could feed the children of the barrio by noon.
We finally got everything chopped and ready to be put in the big pot and were excited to visit the school there and go door to door to meet the people.

A precious lady, full of the joy of the Lord, named Juanita led us around and had the teacher spread the word for the children to come back to the school because they had left for the day already. And sure enough, they did. We gave them a table full of supplies and prayed over the school and the volunteer teachers, who were probably no more than 18 years old.

As we walked further on, Jarrett, Tony and the translator Rolando encountered a man who was open to hearing about Jesus and he invited them in his home. Praise God! He prayed to receive Jesus!

As they spoke with him, though, I noticed 3 women standing at a distance, watching. 
God said go to them,  so I did.
I began a conversation with them about the Lord and ended up giving them each a Bible because they attended they church there and said they knew Jesus.
As began to walk back, one of the women called out to me to wait and come back. She asked me if I had a medicine injection because her little girl was sick. I explained that I was not a nurse or doctor. But she press further for my help and asked me to come with her to see her daughter.
I was unprepared.
I could immediately tell that this 10 year old little girl was not well, just by the discoloration of her face and her eyes.
But then, she slightly raised the long shirt she had on and showed me her left upper thigh. It was the worst infection/boil I had ever seen in my life. I teared up and tried to hold it together, but in the Spirit I could feel the pain and could feel the immensity of the infection in this girl's body. The Holy Spirit rose up an urgency in me. I said I'm sorry in Spanish over and over again.

As my mind clamored for something to do, not just say, I remembered where I had been.
I remembered the tour of the place I hadn't care to go.
Where I had been, even somewhat begrudgingly, was about to collide beautifully with where I was to effect change.

I told them about the clinic, and was able to share with them the details I had not know prior to the tour. We called our missionary and got confirmation the she could go. Her family had no money for the bus ride, so we gave her enough to get there and back home.

After praying with her, I left with such a heavy heart for her healing.
I wondered if she would go tot the clinic at all.

The  team finished the rest of our work and we went back to Hotel Balcones, but parked around the corner, which was different than usual.
I stood waiting outside the bus for Jarrett when all of the sudden a little girl came up to me from across the street. She spoke very soft and quickly in Spanish and already being surprised by her coming up to me, I could not grasp what she was saying.
Then, she pointed across the street and there stood the mother of the the sick little girl...wait...this was the sick little girl!
Her mother has cleaned her up and put nice clothes on her.
She looked up at me with weak eyes and said thank you, hugged me, and limped back across the street to her mother.

She had come. The clinic was just 2 blocks away.
Her healing was nearby, and it was about to be realized in her life all because I had to spend time  in that place I had not wanted to go.

We later got a call from the pastor who is over the clinic while we ate lunch. The doctor told him that this little girl was seriously ill and that she was at risk of losing her leg. The medicine to treat her and her treatments were extensive, so our church paid for it. Otherwise, this little would have died from this level of infection.

Yes, God  had a reason for the tour. Even though to me it seemed like a distracting and unnecessary de-tour...it was a TOUR.
A planned tour that imparted valuable information for the work He had already purposed me to do, for the life of this little girl He was planning to save.

Reluctant Beggar

I am a reluctant beggar.
And my guess is maybe you are, too.

It may be pride that stands in our way. It may be a sense of duty that rises up and convinces us to try harder, telling us that with just a little more effort we can see those results, find those solutions.

It is so easy to seek our own answers to our places of need, our areas of infirmity.
Try everything else...then maybe Jesus.
Healing and restoration seem so far out of reach that we never even come to the place where begging is even an option.
Our hearts cry out,
"Jesus isn't in this place of struggle! Jesus is too far away from my point of need!"

We fail to stop, look and listen in that place to recognize Jesus as He moves into this area of need in our life.

"And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched it were healed."
Matthew 14:35-36

The life changing encounter these people ultimately begged for all began at the point of recognition. Recognition positioned them to cry out for, then receive the healing.

Recognition led to
Declaration led to
Action led to
His presence led to
Desire led to
Petition led to
Healing.

When is the last time that I begged, petitioned for Jesus?

Do I want Him so badly that I beg for Him...that I will do whatever it takes to get nearer to Him because I know that He is the answer to my need and desperation?
That kind of longing only comes out of someone who KNOWS the reality of the very thing they are begging for...they cannot live without it...they are determined to not live without it!

Desiring, craving Him because you know nothing else will do...

The moments in which I find myself swept away first and foremost in the "doing" of ministry, of life, of kingdom living...those are the moments I find myself a reluctant beggar.

I cannot recognize a face I am not looking for.
I cannot declare truth I haven't take time to know.
I cannot take action when I resist receiving direction.
I miss out on the sweetness of His presence when I am constantly choosing to go my own way.
I dilute my desire when I pass by those moments of encounter.
I become a reluctant beggar.
I come in the proximity of healing yet never receiving it.

Wherever you are, Jesus is there.
Whatever need you have, His provision is far better than your best intentions and self sufficient strategies.

Beg for Him.
Beg for Him!

I want my life to be marked by my desperation for more and more and more of Jesus.
I want my life to unashamedly beg and plead for the Father to reveal and pour more of Himself out to me and in me.

What about you?
No more reluctant beggar.


Tweet or post this:
I want my life to be marked by my unashamed desperation for more and more and more of Jesus. #NoMoreReluctantBeggar #ForHisGlory

The Night Before the Step of Faith

"Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, 'Abraham!' 'Here I am', he replied. Then God said, 'Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering...' Early the next morning, Abraham got up and saddled his donkey." 
Genesis 22:1-3

I wonder what it must have been like. 
The night before, God tells Abraham to go sacrifice, aka kill, his precious son...and then Abraham has to go to bed.
What? 
That had to be one crazy night! 
I can imagine that night was a night of an epic battle between spirit and flesh...heart and head...seen and unseen....
Faith versus sight went head to head during the night. 
Thats probably why it says he got up early the next morning....because he wasn't sleeping anyway!....
...or was he?...

Abraham was obviously a man of stellar faith, but he was also human. 
Did he simply take God at His word, no questions asked, and sleep like a log that night?
Or did he plead through the wee hours of the night for God to choose, or to find another way?
But, here's the thing...in the end, no matter how he spent the night, it's what happened when the sun crept above the horizon that matters:

He loaded his donkey. 

When it was time to move, he moved. 

When it was time to step out in faith, he stepped. 

He may have been bright eyed and bushy tailed, or he may have been baggy eyed and sleep deprived...but...in faith he began the journey. 

Maybe it was in those wee hours that God, in His sovereignty, also began the journey of a certain ram up a specific mountain called Moriah. 

Maybe it was in those wee hours that provision had already begun making its way to the exact place and time of need.

The night was that time in-between time where we wrestle with the choice to remain on the path of faith,
where we seek the face of God for a glimmer of understanding, 
where we live through the discomfort of the necessary alignment of our flesh with His perfect unsearchable will...
where we see the near daybreak of the realty of what we must do, and we wonder......

Can I really load that donkey? 

Because that, well that makes the trip real. 
That puts feet to the command. 

Early the next morning. Early the next morning. Early the next morning.

Abraham didn't know exactly what God would do or would not do.
But I am sure he rested in the fact that he knew God...and that was enough. 

He had only to release his faith and he knew God would do what needed to be done because only God really knew what that need was anyway. 

So Abraham did what he knew to do...he loaded the donkey.

How will I choose to emerge from the night in-between the call/the command and the step out in faith? 

Will the doubt of the in-between time be victorious and cause me to sleep in? 

Will I get distracted when my feet hit the floor?
Or
Will I prepare and load the donkey for the specific journey of faith to which He has called me?

Will I focus more on my lack of rest than on my position of being just outside the circle of obedience? 
Or 
Will I care enough to plunge into that obedience regardless of what my flesh may say or likely experience?

Who God is. 
THAT is my strength, my focus, my drive.

"Here I am."

I have only to step out in faith. 
To obey.

Time to wake up and load the donkey.

Tweet/Facebook this: 
Who God is.THAT is my strength,my focus, my drive.He is enough...enough for me to step out in faith n obey. #forhisglory

Tender Presence

Tonight, as I had the privelege of entering into the presence of God with an amazing group of women, the Holy Spirit gave me the most precious vision of what was happening in the room.

As we began a time of listening and responding to the Word the Lord had taught us in our time together, I began to hear the tingling of brokenness fill the room. But it wasn't a clamoring crash...no...it was a beautiful sound. Music was made as pieces of our flesh fell away.

I listened to tears that resonated with the reality of His greatness, His goodness, His love, His truth, His freedom.

Strength stood.

Courage moved.

Vessels were broken.

Treasures were reclaimed.
And with treasures in hand, the reality of who He is and who we are not washed over us.

In that moment, the eyes of my spirit were opened to see the unseen, in a way that only the Holy Spirit can.

He wasn't just somewhere in the room.

Standing next to each woman...there He was: the Holy Spirit was tending to them.

He was tending to each one.

He was administering healing and comfort through the tenderness of His presence.

I saw it.

I experienced it.

The Person of the Holy Spirit had each one enveloped, counseling their spirits, healing the wounds of brokenness that are making way for growth beyond imagination.

Overwhelmed is the only way I can describe it.

Beautiful.

Beautiful is the picture painted by His presence over us.

Tender. Loving. Gracious.

He was so tender with our spirits, caring for His daughters in a way that only He can, even when He saw every part of the wretchedness we brought.

Oh how He loves!

Gentle, as we begin to walk forward in our healing on new feet, in unfamiliar places, longing for only one thing: to find more of Him.

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers lambs in his arms and

carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."

Isaiah 40:11

A Summer to Remember...

Summertime!!!
I pray that you all are having a great summer thus far and that somewhere in the mix you find time to relax with family and vacate the everyday routines for a little rest time and fun time! :)
Jarrett and I had been telling the youth as summer approached that they have a choice: make this a summer to remember or a summer to forget.
So what about you?
How awesome would it be to be standing in the glory of of the golds and oranges of autumn, leaves falling around as the brisk wind carresses your face and fondly remember, "Ahh summer. The summer I gave it all to my Lord and really began to experience the love relationship He's been longing to have with me! The summer Our love really began!"
It isn't just for everyone else, you know.
It is for YOU.
Time is going to pass. Seasons are going to change....but will you remain the same?
Begin.
Start.
Commence.
Initiate.
What are you waiting for?

You have the power through the Holy Spirit.
You have the resource and wisdom through God's Word.
Unfortunately, there is one thing we all have that holds us back: PRIDE.
It disguises itself as many things, but PRIDE is the root to so much of what litters our lives and distracts and pulls us away from our Lord.

Pride tells you that spiritual intellect is better than relationship.
Pride tells you that keeping Jesus as one of many options is the same as having him as the only option.
Pride tells you it is ok to read the Word and apply it to everyone else, but not to yourself.
Pride tells you the more you do, the more you are.
Pride tells you that surrender is only for fanatics.
Pride tells you that you can follow Jesus and still look like the world.
Pride tells you that if it makes you happy, go for it.
Pride tells you that position is more important than obedience.
Pride tells you that this life is all about you and that it doesn't have to be all about Jesus until you die.
Pride tells you that being religious is the same thing, or even better than relationship.
Pride tells you that as long as you appear super religious, that you're good to go.
Pride tell tells you how to justify every choice you make.
Pride is the KING if excuses.
Pride is the ORIGIN of excuses.
Pride is the undetected, elusive cancer in your spirit.

Don't let it hide and wreak havoc on you any longer.
Don't wear yourself out pulling up the little weeds popping up over here, over there, continually in your spirit.
GO FOR THE ROOT.
Kill the source!
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you surrender your all, and through the power and authority of the blood of Jesus, loose you from the shackles of PRIDE!

We each have further to go in our relationship with the Father. Wherever you are, there is more of Him ready and waiting to be poured out into your life.
What are you waiting for?
What are you stuck in?

Some of us are stuck in routine.
Some of us are stuck in busyness.
Some of us are stuck in religion.
Some of us are stuck in fear.
Some of us are stuck in lies.
Some of us are stuck in ignorance.
Some of us are stuck in piety.
Some of us are stuck in bitterness.
Some of us are stuck in unforgiveness.
Some of us are stuck in complacency.
Some of us are stuck in apathy.
Some of us are stuck in intellect.
Some of us are stuck in denial.

Where are you? Where does the Holy Spirit say that YOU are?
Not where you think someone else has caused you to be or where the harshness of life's circumstances have put you....it's about where YOU have chosen to stay.
STAY.
REMAIN.

John 15
The Vine and the Branches
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunesa] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.


Where have you placed your roots? What have you sunk your roots into?
Where are you remaining?

The fruit we produce is undeniable.
In today's world, many are in the habit of trying to harvest their real or actual fruit in darkness and then trying to pass of other fruit as their own, as if it came from the nutrients running through their veins, but the reality of where your roots are cannot stay hidden forever.
What flows in your inmost being will find its way out.
"...for out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34
"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:13

Don't stay stuck in the all the muck the enemy entices you into!
Don't allow pride to drive you into the mirey stench of the enemy and convince you to stay!

Plastic fruit in a bowl looks pretty, but it brings no nourishment, no joy, no sustenance...it only gathers dust and is obviously fake upon further inspection.

YOU are the desire of the Father's heart and He longs to see you free in His love, flourishing in His Spirit!

Will you choose to make this a summer to remember?
Will you make the choices necessary to "Produce fruit in keeping with repentance."(Matt 3:8) ?
Will you sink your roots deep into the PERSON of God, not just the activities of God?
Will you allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to you where the spirit of Pride has taken hold in you and allow Him to UPROOT all that is keeping you from fully experiencing the Lord?

This season will come and it will go....will you be the same with its passing?
Or will you be forever changed...rooted in His love...rooted in His power...rooted in His TRUTH?
Choose for this to be a summer to remember.

Ready....set.....GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

In the Waiting

Laundry. The bane of my existence.

It is never done.

It is the job infinitely unfulfilled and incomplete.

I dread it. I procrastinate.
And then, I end up exactly where I am at this moment: waiting on the dryer to stop so I can go to sleep.
And no, I cannot just go on to bed because dryers left running unattended account for…well, some amount or number of house fires I heard somewhere. And that statistic, little or big as it may be, still looms in my mind and reminds me to stay awake- or get someone else to- if the dryer is still going when it is time for beddy-bye.
So here I sit at 1am in the morning at my desk in a dark house, save the glow of my computer and the faint light of my laundry closet creeping onto my kitchen floor, with the low rumble of the dryer lulling me into a sleep that I cannot embrace at the moment!

Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.

I really despise laundry.
Don’t I?
Well, maybe not.
As I ponder this, I realize that it isn’t actually the laundry that I despise; it is the laundering of the clothes that frustrates me so.
Laundry is that which gets laundered. So to say I dislike laundry is to say I dislike clothing, and…well…one glance at my closet will confirm that I do, in fact, like clothing.
So, you see, it is the act of laundering that truly is the source of these woes.

But the reality is, these clothes I like so well, if I desire to continue wearing them in such a way that is enjoyable and not brandishing a foreboding stench, then I must enter in to this place of laundering in order to experience the benefits that it affords me.
I simply place my garments in the washer and then dryer, carefully reading and following instructions on how to go about this task of cleaning my clothes so they are ready for wear.

My garments cannot go unlaundered or they ultimately will become useless- something they were never created or purchased to be.

So how are your garments…the garments of your soul and spirit?

Have you come to see the purifying of your soul and spirit as the bane of your existence, where dread leads to procrastination and the inability to “arrive” drives you insane as you stare at your unfulfilled, incomplete self?

Are you allowing them to be laundered so that they can be used in the purpose for which they were created and then purchased on the cross?

The reality is that so little is required for you and I to receive so very much.
I do not have to stand and scrub those clothes- I simply sort, measure, load.
I do not have to use the breath from my lungs to restore those clothes to a condition in which I could comfortably wear them- I simply toss them in the dryer and press start.

Yet, I speak of the process as though I did the work; like the labor was mine alone.
I wear my frustration as a badge of honor, a decorated heroine who has fought the battle of endless socks and won- if only for a fleeting moment…

But as I sit here and wait, I realize that I have done all that I can do and now I must simply wait and let the dryer do the rest...bring to completion what my act of faith began.

It would be pointless for me to keep running to the dryer every 5 seconds just to be absolutely certain that it really was going to dry my clothes.

I simply have to trust.

I have to do what I can do and then leave the rest up to the dryer.

Have I connected to the power source? Check.
Have I surrendered the clothing? Check.
Have I turned it on to access the power? Check.
Have I been patient in allowing it to accomplish what is intended? Well…………
Not so much.

I long for new clothes, fresh clothes, clothes that are exactly what I need for what is ahead of me at any given moment. Garments that have been through the wash and smell clean and fresh and ready to wear…that is what my heart cries out for.

But the fear of laundering must be cast aside.

The fear of what may happen to the garment cannot keep it from being lovingly placed in the wash so that it can be made clean and ready for the wear.
Clothes were made to be worn and enjoyed!

They only become a chore when they are dirty and in need of being cleansed!

We must each come to the realization that day by day, the stench of flesh rubs off on the garment of our spirit and we are in need of laundering.

Why? So that the blessing, joy, freshness, and newness can freely and fully flow in, breathe on us and prepare us to be effectively and completely used.

We cannot keep trying to find brand new clothes readily offered by the world and even borrowed clothes to put on when we haven’t allowed the Lord to cleanse the ones we have...our God-given clothes!

Take responsibility and do what has to be done.

In the words of Joyce Meyer, “ Just do what you can do and allow God to do what you cannot do.”

What does my impatience reveal? Too little faith and too much fear and feelings.

I simply must do what God has told me to do and have faith that He is working and doing everything that I cannot.

The result?
Garments that are pure and fresh…that have the scent of the Father lingering over them, the warmth of His touch radiating from them.
The kind of garments that you put you face into and breathe deeply and exhale,
“Ahhhh…this is the product of my waiting.”

The dryer just stopped....whew....and it scared me half to death as its BUZZZZZ broke the silence!

I was caught up in this writing God had called me to do- His speaking in the midst of my waiting.
Hmmmm.
Wow.

Just like that...............the silence is broken.

The process that induced the waiting has come to an end and the result is ready to be embraced…so that more of Him and less of me can be the reality in which I live and move and have my being.

There is always more laundering of this filthy soul to be done.

So I will simply do what I can do, what He asks me to do-and allow Him to do all that I cannot.

The filth of this soul that I loathe to launder is a glimpse at the great potential for the purity of Christ.

As I place it in the washer and dryer, the waiting produces a garment that is fresh and righteous according to God’s grace and goodness.

Not because of anything good that I have done, but because of the obedience in doing what I could do and having faith for Him to do the rest.

There are many “silences” in my life that I long to be broken. Some big; Some small.
But I will wait.
And then, I will breathe in the freshness only His Spirit can bring.

I will breathe deep the scent of my Father, embrace the warmth of His presence and I will exhale, “Ahhhhh…Lord, more of YOU is always worth the waiting.”

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior;

my God will hear me."

Micah 7:7

Excited Expectation

I have to say...I was probably a little too excited.
A little too excited to see a movie that I had already seen numerous times and currently own...yet, here I was going to the movie theatre to see it ahhhh-gain.
But wait, there's more.
THIS time, I was going to see the movie on...da-da-dum....(enter the big booming announcer voice).....
IMAX 3D!
Gasp, awe...

Anyway, a new theatre opening locally was having their grand opening, and to celebrate was offering FREE movies of "recent Hollywood hits".
I love FREE. (Kudos to you theatre peeps for that great idea btw!)

Having realized that FREE would be the only way in which our family would be able to go all together to see a movie in...(here comes the voice again)...IMAX 3D, I quickly got on the task of gathering details about this opportunity and was determined to see it come to pass!
Movie choice: check.
Time:check.
Address to feed Lori(Jarrett's GPS): check.
Jacket for theatre: check.
So off we headed to see this movie we had all seen before, lots of times, and in all honesty, could have stayed home to watch.

As we rounded the corner to the theatre, I actually felt a little giddy...you know that little kid excitement that rises up inside.
My expectations were off the chart!
Yes, I am willing to admit that, I, the seatbelt freak, even unbuckled as soon as Jarrett turned into the parking lot, so as to uninhibit my calculated speedy exit from the vehicle in order to out walk other patrons headed to the ticket line!
I even left my family at the car.
I mean, hey- when its time to get to business, mama don't play.
Either your daddy can hold your hand across that parking lot or you can use the brain your heavenly Father gave you!...ok relax all you horrified people, I'm kidding. No children were left unattended in the viewing of the movie.
But for real, Jarrett brought them after I had gone ahead.

And so I got in line- the shortest line- and was relieved to find out our time was NOT sold out! YES!
Having heard that lines had been horrendous at times during this grand opening promo, I felt like waving my tickets and doing the "Rocky" dance, but I restrained myself, and instead just kept asking the kids over and over, "Aren't you excited? Mommy is excited! Isn't this great? Aren't you excited? Can you believe the blessing this is for us? Isn't God good? Aren't you excited?" (I realize, at this point, that those of you who feel you were not embarrassed enough as a child, are all wishing that I, too, was your mother. ha.)

We entered the theatre, found great seats right in the center, top and I prepared myself.
Phone silenced: check.
Jacket on: check.
All children pottied: check.
3D glasses cleaned with precision: check.
Comfortable positioning of 3D glasses for myself and kids tested and memorized : check.

And then, the moment came...
Previews had come and gone...and now as the theatre began to identify itself as...(here it comes)...IMAX 3D, what was on the screen suddenly transformed and came to life!
Words that had been on the screen now danced before me, nearer than I could ever have imagined. Details jumped from the screen flooding my eyes, my mind...and I couldn't just sit and let it pass me by! I stretched my arms out to reach for what was in front of me!

The responses were so varied, but were evident across the theatre:
Caroline giggled, I said WOW, some gasped, some ooed and ahhed, jaws dropped, polite people whispered, rude, oops I mean other people talked in an outside voice...and this was not even the beginning of the movie- it was merely of taste of what was to come!
I knew this was NOT going to disappoint!

More amazing, reach-out-and-touch-the-screen moments occurred as we saw this movie we had seen so many times...but why?

Why was this time different than all the others?

Because this time, we were experiencing this movie in the fullness its creator intended it to be experienced.
The time and detail placed in this film was for movie goers to not just see the story, hear the story...but to be drawn into the story and experience it.

How often do we approach our encounters with the One True Living God this way?

When is the last time that I had such a great level of expectation that I was actually giddy just thinking about what I was going to experience by coming in to the presence of the Lord?

When is the last time I spent that much preparation to be in God's presence?

When is the last time I made sure I was sharing with others around me the greateness of the One I was expecting to experience and let them know that same encounter is available to them?

When is the last time we threw off all that hinders, stepped outside of our rituals and routines and went after the Lord...even when others choose to lag behind?

When is the last time we simply embraced being in His presence, allowing Him to make Himself evident in us, through us, with laughter, ooos, ahhs, whispers, shouts, outstretched arms, a shared word?

Our Heavenly Father, the Creator of all, longs for you experience the fullness of Who He is!

He presence is not something to be simply spoken of, heard of, or seen through the vantage point of a man-made box.

His presence is a place of TRANSFORMATION.
His presence is a place of VISION.
His presence is a place of REVELATION.

It is to be experienced.

Why?
So that you can be transformed into His image.
So that you can have the vision of His perspective.
So that you can receive the revelation of His will for your life.

We have become so content to view God through a key-hole that we randomly stumble upon when life begins to trample on us...hoping to glimpse just enough to give us a clue about the story line and fashion our lives into a faint resemblance, then tout our knowledge of Him as though we actually knew Him in an experiential way.

But the reality is, the key that fits that hole was purchased on a cross on which Jesus bled and died, and was delivered into His hands when He rose from the dead three days later.
The door of sin and death that separates us is unlocked for all who believe.

Stop being a key-hole peeker and a threshhold dweller!

Expect to experience the fullness of God.
THAT is what God created you for and that is why Jesus died for you!

Don't settle for a 2D, 7 inch screen walk with the Lord when He has made an...(enter that big voice)...IMAX 3D abundant life available to YOU!
EXPECT it. EXPERIENCE it.

God never disappoints.

OH!....and did I mention, just like my cinema experience...it's FREE!
I love FREE. :)

"My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen you."

Job 42:5

"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."

1 Peter 2:2-3

"Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see-how good God is.

Blessed are you who run to Him"

Psalm 34:8