I Can't Sleep

I am not a troubled sleeper....usually.
Lately, I have not rested as well as usual and it is honestly getting on my nerves.
I am the one who falls asleep as my head is on the way to the pillow, or-and Jarrett will back me up on this- in the middle of a sentence that I am reading aloud to you from the computer screen!
It's not the falling asleep, but the staying there that has been hit or miss as of late.
Friday night was one of those nights.
I woke up at 3:30.
Prayed.
Rolled over and looked at the clock at 4:15.
Prayed some more.
Along came 4:45...
You know those times when you know it is more than yourself keeping you awake? Maybe you do, maybe you don't....but I came to the point where I knew I wasn't supposed to be lying in that bed anymore. My spirit has been roused by the Holy Spirit. Something was up and He needed me up...
Finally, I said, "Ok Lord. I get it. I am getting up. What do you want me to do?"
And so I went-you could even say somewhat begrudgingly-to mine and the Lord's meeting place in the den, Bible and journal in hand, and waited....
And as I did, I felt impressed to write.
I didn't think and write, I simply wrote and then read what came out...and it was such an amazing thing when I went back and read!
The Holy Spirit molded my spirit into His desire in a matter of lines on a page and so gently led me to a place where I could receive...so sweetly plowed the hardened ground of my heart...so lovingly tuned the ears of my spirit to His frequency...

...and nothing else mattered.

It was a refreshing like no amount of sleep could ever bring.

I love Him SO much!
I mean, I really just love that He loves that time with me and will wake me up to get it.

So, what follows here is a rare excerpt from my journal from that early morning hour that the Holy Spirit has nudged me to share, because I want you to see how precious He is and how willing He is to be the most tender of Shepherds and guide you where you need to go...if you will just be willing to follow...

I can't sleep.
I don't know why.
Any noble purpose I've let slip by.
Some other one may have known what to do
In these moments given, this morning, brand new.
I can think of millions of tasks to fill the time-
All menial and domestic-nothing sublime.
But there's a need to satisfy down in my spirit and soul,
An emptiness calling, longing to be whole!
My spirit has been awakened to commune with Your love,
To lay aside earthly burdens and focus above.
Who You are awaits to show me who I can be.
Illuminate my mind, help these blind eyes to see!
So how can I answer, more than, "Here I am!",
And position myself before the Spotless Lamb?
In this unadultered hour, all I want is YOU.
As the moon begins to hide, let Your Son rise, revealing TRUTH.
There's a thinness to the walls that have seemed to separate,
A Divine entrance fashioned, a spiritual floodgate!
Anticipation trickles into the fog of my spirit,
Burned away by expectation as Your Holiness comes near it!
So come, Holy Spirit, take me where I dare not go!
Overwhelm this earthen vessel, help me receive what You desire me to know.
And I will wait before You.........
No, I won't leave...I'll adore You.....
You are why
I won't sleep.

Ezekiel 36:25-28(The Message)
"I'll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You'll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You'll be my people! I'll be your God!"

"Come out! You're Surrounded!"...by His Majesty!

Recently I was at a wedding held in the beautiful setting of the Blue Ridge Mountains.
The front of the church, behind the stage, was nothing but a huge glass window which overlooked the majesty of these mountains.
One large peak stood directly behind the church in the foreground of this larger than life picture out of this window wall, with others sprinkled around in the distance of the landscape.
It would have been mesmerizing on any day, but on this particular day, it was raining, and the scene seemed to morph second by second. The clouds hovered all around. At first, they simply kissed the tip of the mountain, but then they moved low from time to time.
As I watched in breathtaking trance, with melodies from the grand piano filling my ears and my spirit, I found myself frustrated to see this grandios peak covered by the clouds that had once been simply backgound to the portrait before me. This mountain in all its beauty had seemingly been consumed, and now it simply looked like a minor hill of trees, topped off by a massive cloud.
The perspective had changed...but the reality that the mountain was still there had not.

In that moment the Holy Spirit whispered, "This is what the world seeks to do to My majesty."

The majesty of God clouded by the world. Sadly, I know that it is true. And worse, I know I have allowed my life to be a part of it time and again.

We catch glimpses of the grandios holiness of God, the fullness of His power, the truth of His love and grace...and are in awe...mesmerized by the beauty of it all.
But then, we allow clouds of distraction, fear, shame, pride, biterness, busy-ness, religion(etc., etc.) to come in and cover over the massivenesss of the Lord's majesty.
And then, the wondrous, glory filled picture we declared would forever be at the forefront of our minds, slips somewhere into our memory.

We forget the reality of who God is.

He becomes a minor player on the canvas of our lives. The One whom the window was created to glorify is now merely a part of the picture, rather than the theme.
The perspective has changed...but the reality that His majesty is there has not!

"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!"

Psalm 8:9

THIS has to be our perspective! THIS has to be our life theme- the picture painted by our life!

Psalm 22:25 says, "From You comes the theme of my praise..."

What theme does your life resound?

Have you allowed clouds come in and distort your view?

We get caught up in the ever changing scenery rather than focus on the glory of God that fills the frame of our lives. It stands tall before us, yet we choose to see the piece and not the whole. Why? Because we feel much bigger ourselves when we choose not to turn toward and acknowledge the greatness of God.
And, after all, it is all about us, right?!?

"The Lord looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God."

Psalm 14:2

Will God find you in the middle of already looking for Him?

"Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near." Isaiah 55:6

Don't let the clouds of this world fade in and warp your view of the awesomeness of the One True God!
They may mask His majesty for a time, but the glory of the Lord WILL be reavealed!
Let it begin in you! Let it begin through you!

"For from Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things.

To Him be the glory forever! Amen."

Romans 11:36