For His Glory

My Chained Heart

2012-01-24T18:08:00.000-05:00

"My heart is chained to the unchainable Jesus."

This statement by Louie Giglio at Passion 2012 has been planted deeply inside my spirit.

Who would think that a statement about being chained could be the
catalyst of freedom,
of life for these dry bones?

But my destiny, my purpose is not chained
to what I was,
what I've done,
my failures,
my losses,
my insufficiency...
NO!

My destiny, my purpose is chained to the
Grace-Giving,
Failure-Forgiving,
Always-Winning,
More than Enough God that I love!

I don't have to try live my life FOR victory...I have the privilege to live my life FROM victory because I am a daughter of the King!

I have chained myself to the unchainable Jesus!

John15:5

"...Apart from me, you can do nothing."

So what HAVE you chained yourself to?
addictions,
wrong beliefs,
circumstances,
acts against you,
actions by you,
the past,
the future,
...and the list could go on and on and on...

Let it go! Grab onto His Grace! Move the chain!
Learn to remain....remain in Jesus!

So what WILL you chain yourself to?

Bishop T.D. Jakes speaks to this truth-in his own unique way- in this clip from "Let Them Walk"...see for yourself...

Chain yourself to Freedom.
Chain yourself to Victory.
Chain yourself to Peace.
Chain yourself to Wisdom.
Chain yourself to Truth.
Chain yourself to Love.
Chain yourself to Power.
Chain yourself to Healing.
Chain yourself to Deliverance.
Chain yourself to the Lover of Your Soul.
Let the rest of it WALK!

Chain yourself to the unchainable Jesus!

Tweet/Post this: "My heart is chained to the unchainable Jesus."@louiegiglio #forHisglory

Heart Ramblings

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

You.

That's all I really care about.

You.

I want more every time I taste and see Your goodness.

Every time I find You I just can't belive that You would trust me with another piece and portion of Who You are.

I believe You.

I believe that what You have in store, I cannot even begin to imagine.

I believe that You are poised and ready to be all I ever need You to be...

...if I will just surrender.

Really say, "Your will, Your way"

Really step out on faith that moves mountains.

Remaining comfortable,

stagnant living,
shallow giving,

gasping for air breathing,

my agendas seething...

I can live like this NO MORE.

I cannot watch my life whiz by uninterrupted.
I am dizzied by my own lack of action,
My own refusal to let You press pause.
I cannot do this poor excuse of doing anymore.
I cannot be this comfortable living,
parasite Believer.
This Pharisee, pining after rules instead of God's heart,
on a rule following,
attendance taking,
activity going
sugar-high...
Justifying my own agendas because they are outside the boxes around me,
Yet, they are boxes of my own creation, just the same.
They are not His.
No.
He did not create these rules I keep,
This track record I collect and store to display somewhere- a hall that does not exist.
No.
He is a box-breaking God
who desires box-breaking worshippers...
Spilling the messiness of their oil of worship all His feet
And meshing it with the sacrifice of
Tears
Joy
and Thankfulness
and Awe
and...
and Nearness.
Even when the room comes to a halt...
Even when whispers deafen...
Even when the burn of stares singe the edges of my heart...
Even then...
Press in.
Press in further.
I won't stop until I'm at His feet.
Because that's where it all disappears.
It all fades away as I fall at the feet of the Object of my affection...
This Jesus.
This is it.
He is It.
He is All.
He is Everything.
Yes.
YOU are.
That's what I believe.
This is what I know is Truth:
You are Truth.
And when the world tells me that I am confused,
a distraction to those seeking outward reverence above a life messily sacrificed on Your altar...
THAT is when I will just RUN to Your feet, look You in Your face,
look Truth in the eye,
Feel Truth wrap His arms around me and whisper my name...
Truth sings over me with a voice of rejoicing.
Yes, He delights in holding this messy sinner,
who runs crying,
unworthy,
but BOLDLY approaching the throne of Grace!
He finds joy in my feeble attempts to rightly worship unhindered by this rotten flesh.
Because there is no "right",
Because there is no list of rules
He only asks me to come.
Really.
He just wants me...
even more than I want Him.
What?
I know.
It's crazy.

How can this God want me?

Why would He want this pile of issues and shortcomings?

Because I am His.

Because He knew me before I took a breath.

He formed these moments I am living and called each one into existence.

He's walked each one and laid each moment down,

Packed full with His presence and provision...

If I'll reach out...

If I will see.
If I will look past my own insufficiencies that I have allowed to lay down walls of limits

amidst these moments He has made for me.

My vision is limited by me.

The horizon,

endless,

unlimited potential,

and beauty...

THAT'S what He created.

So,

I want to see.

I want to see past the limits I have bricked up all around me.

I want to see with Spirit eyes...

Blinded to all else.

Because that's when Grace experienced is labeled...

Amazing.
Because what else do you say when a

poor,

destitute,

bitter,

enemy

is freely forgiven,

joyfully welcomed,

given this Love,

and immeasurable riches?

What else do you say when unmerited favor is handed out

to one like me...

...and so lavishly?

What else do you say when the rightful hand of death,

this death sentence I so deserve,

is paid for by Another?

What do you say when this wretched ife is not only forgiven-

it is proclaimed,

declared NOT GUILTY?!?

What can I do but shout,

"GRACE!"

"AMAZING!"
And what else can I offer...
but my life in return?

No.

It's not enough.

No, it is not payment.

Because THAT is a debt I cannot repay.

Jesus already took care of that.

Nope...

It is my offering.

My thanks.

My joy to give.

And I am beginning to understand that is it His joy, Your joy Father, to receive.

In all its messiness,

in all its ridiculous junk...

It is His joy to receive it because...

That's how He loves.

Far beyond what I can understand...

He loves me.

He desires me in the middle of my mess because He has His cleansing blood

ready and waiting,

His robe of righteousness to bestow on me.

And I...

I don't deserve it...

But...

That's how He loves.

Yep.

Be Still

2011-09-19T09:27:00.002-04:00

"Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!"

(Psalm 46:10 ESV)

I need to give you a tiny bit of back-story on how this verse and how the picture to your right changed my life...so roll with me on this...

When I was 19 years old, I truly began investing in my relationship with the One who had invested everything in me.
I craved time with Him, to know Him more and to understand His desires for me.
During that time I began to pray for the Lord to give me a life verse- a verse that I could stand on throughout my life, and hold to that specific treasure that He had given me to remind me that, with Him, my account is never depleted or overdrawn. :)
Shortly after, the Lord gave me Psalm 46:10.
I am sure that you may have heard it or heard it referenced, or maybe at least the "Be still..." part.
Over the years it has been such water to my Spirit, such refreshing to my soul. From time to time, I'll revisit it the verse to study and find out what God wants to show me fresh and new.

One day, several years ago, as I did this, I decided to look up the verse in different translations of the Bible in order to study and gain fuller understanding.
As I did, read the New American Standard Bible version.
I have to be honest, at first reading, I had a major, "Huh?" moment:

"Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

(Psalm 46:10 NASB)

"Cease striving..." ???
My perfectionist, people pleaser, affirmation seeker conversation with the Lord went something like this...

"Cease striving? What Lord? You mean, you want me to stop trying? You want me to stop doing, stop seeking ways to be better for you, stop trying to do great things for you? But I thought that was what you wanted for me: To be the best I could be?!? If I "cease striving" then I will stop growing....right?"

See, the problem was, I was looking at the word "striving" the wrong way.
In our culture, and more importantly in my follow the rules, all or nothing, give it all you got mind, it's more commonly synonymous with "aspiring" or carries the connotation of "goal-setting".

But when I looked up "striving" in the dictionary, this is what I found:
To struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance
To exert oneself vigorously; to try hard
To make strenuous efforts toward any goal
To contend in opposition, battle or any conflict; compete

What I saw as solid and steady effort from myself, God saw as pointless struggle and strain, that ultimately only brought one result: frustration.

Why?
Because it was MY strength, MY efforts, MY ideas, MY goals, MY, MY, MY!

Immediately the Lord gave me a vision of this verse: A Chinese finger trap.
You know...that thing that you put one finger in each side and when you pull to get your fingers out, they are stuck.(see picture at top)
Although its just your fingers, there is something about it that brings about panic...and make your fingers feel claustrophobic(if that's possible!).
Once your fingers are in, and you keep pulling and struggling against the trap, the fact is...you are not going to get out.
You are stuck.
Trapped.
And no matter how hard you try and try and pull and pull, panic sets in as you realize, you cannot get out.

How do you overcome this little trap of a toy?

You stop...Relax...."cease striving"... And then, slowly pull out one finger, then the other.
The result? Freedom.

The Lord used the vision of this little toy to reveal to me a core truth of this verse I had been missing:
All too often, I get too consumed with struggling to put forth the best that I can give when the best thing for me to do is REST in the perfection that He is!

The Lord is saying "Yes, I want YOU to stop trying, YOU to stop struggling, YOU to stop putting forth strenuous effort, YOU to stop contending...and let ME do the work IN YOU and THROUGH YOU!"

Cease striving.

It's how you go from good things to GOD things.
It's how you go from your best to HIS best.
HIS strength, HIS effort, HIS ideas, HIS goals...

Cease striving.

Whatever you are going through, in the hands of the Almighty God...the God that is exalted above all the nations...it is merely a little wicker toy of a trap over which He has already secured the victory!

I am still learning to live this truth day in and day out, but when I allow it to permeate my spirit, it transforms my attitude, my choices, my outlook, my emotions...even my health.

The effort I need to make is simply this:
BE STILL.
Be His.

"God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!"

(Exodus 14:14 MSG)

Share His Truth...Tweet or post this today:
Don't b consumed w/ struggling 2 b YOUR best...REST in the perfection that HE is! #psalm4610 #forHisglory

9/11 Remembering What I Felt...

2011-09-10T15:10:00.002-04:00

I usually don't remember a lot about how I felt on any particular day.
Maybe what I experienced, but rarely the specifics of what I felt.

But then, something happens that sears a feeling into your core, into your mind, into your memory....and thats what happened on September 11, 2001.

I have always remembered what happened that day, what I was doing...but I don't aways let or allow myself remember what I felt...to go to that tender place in my memories.

This year, as I was doing a unit study about the events of that day in our Homeschool, I thought about getting out my journal from that time to see if it might help convey my heart during that time to my children.
I had never re-read what I wrote.
But when I did, it brought back not just memories, but deep seated feelings that had flooded over me that September 10 years ago, as a 24 year old wife, mother of 2 (at the time), seeking my place and way in the world and His Kingdom...

What follows is that journal entry from Friday, September 14, 2011...my first after the attacks:

"I have so much sadness inside of me...I just don't know how to let it out.
I feel at times as though I could cry for days, other times I just want to scream, others times I could do it all at once.
Our nation has been attacked...but more than that, our spirits have taken a blow.
I keep taking deep breaths to try to get it all out, and it just can't reach deep enough.
This is affecting me in a way I just cannot explain.
And I know that it has only just begun!
God show me, reveal to me what it is that You want me to know, what it is You want me to do!
How do You want me to change?
How do You what me to react?
Right now I am scared.
I am sad.
I am mad.
I am overwhelmed.
I am so many things that I can't put into words.
But I feel them.
I definitely feel them.
I am drawn to the stories and the pictures. I can't pull myself away.
I sing constantly in my mind. I feel like it's the only way to push through...I feel like I can get it out that way.
The words that flow from my mouth comfort my heart and my mind.
Thank you Lord for song, for words that can be lifted to You in praise, in longing, in thanksgiving.
You restore me through the gift you've bestowed on me.
How precious, how priceless.
Your love is so great!
I know Your arms are all around me.
You call me to Your lap to sit for a while and I settle in the comfort of Your never-ending, ever reaching, constant and healing love.
Thank you Jesus for holding me for more than just a little while.
Thank you for understanding that it feels so hard to smile.
The emptiness that seems to grow is something that only you can touch...with You only will it fade.
I praise You Lord for Your comfort.
Thank You for healing and caring about my fears.
Jesus, please help me to hold You through them, to know that You are greater and stronger than anything I could ever encounter.
God, please show me- clearly and surely- what You want FROM me, what You want FOR me!
Speak to me loudly and clearly, Jesus!
I want to know You more!
Use me Jesus!
Amen."

So on this tenth anniversary, I will remember.
I will remember what happened that day...what I felt that day...what others may have felt and experienced...
I will remember what the Lord planted in my spirit that day and I will nurture it further so that the life and fruit He desired to see in me as a result of it all will be evident...so it will bring Him glory...so it will make Him obvious!

I flipped back a page and saw the last pre-9/11 journal entry:

"Be open! Sometimes God doesn't change your circumstances; He changes you!!"

Wow.
Choose to remember how you felt that crisp blue-skied day of Septmeber 11, 2001... and let it fuel your passion to press into the Lord and go forward with a battle cry to further His Kingdom in the face of whatever may be on your horizon!
And I will never take for granted the opportunity to do so.

Yes, I will remember.

Spread His Word, Tweet/Post this:
#IWillRemember #IWillMakeGodObvious #911

Lion's Dinner?

2011-07-22T08:00:00.001-04:00

It was really only supposed to be background noise.
And so, I had relegated it to just that- at least until the Lord decided otherwise.
And just like that, an Animal Planet tv show about the savannas reached out and grabbed me with this statement:

Lions only go after prey that enter their own territory!

According to this narrator, there is no specific line in the savannas where one can see the area that belongs to one pride or the next.
Only one who knows that particular pride, or is familiar with them, could give warnings and indications if you are getting too close to the area that belongs to the pride...to the lion...to the predator...to the enemy.

Immediately my spirit went to 1 Peter 5:8:
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour."

It is so easy to haphazardly wander into dangerous territory as we become distracted with the burdens, pressures, and propositions of the world, of life.
When our focus shifts to our good intentions and personal efforts, we lose sight of where we are.
We roam outside the circle of obedience, that place of safety the Father has created for us where His blessing and favor flow freely, and instead, find ourselves in the midst of the enemy's territory.

But just as one would be insane to leave their guide in the savannas, so we are when we take our eyes off of the One Whose wisdom will warn us if we are dangerously close to paths and areas infested with the enemy.

1 Peter 5:6-7 says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him because He cares for You."

Keep your eyes on the Lord, trusting His wisdom and guidance.
Even when you cannot see the very dangers He is warning you about, just trust.
He knows what you cannot.
You don't have to fret and plan ways to hopefully avert the dangers.
You just have to let Him be your guide.
Humbly surrender to His guidance.
Let Him care for you.

Being "sober-minded" and "watchful" means being focused...focused on God! NOT the enemy!

Our problem is not a lack of watching our territory and steps...our problem is thinking that in doing so we will,by our own good intentions, out smart the enemy!
Don't step and then ask God to bless it or remove all the lions from it!
Ask the Lord if the territory you are moving towards is His to begin with!

Don't become the lions dinner.

Tweet/post this:
Keeps ur eyes on the Lord,ur hands about His work,ur mind in His Word,ur life in His hands.He knows.He cares

The Doing

2011-07-14T11:24:00.000-04:00

"There are things that are easy to know...but hard to do."-Ryan Warren

This was the ultimate theme of our day.
All of us have been receiving loads of this easy to know stuff in Bible Study, rec time, track times...and all of those things are great to know...but the truth is, they are incredibly difficult to do.

So after a phenomenal day of recreation time, lunch, track times, free time, and supper, we headed to worship.
Fuge worship-especially with The Seth Medley Band- is a powerful thing.

As we worshipped, the Holy Spirit showed me that He was stirring amongst the students in a big way that night. I prayed fervently that He would empower the pastor, the worship leader, Jarrett, myself, other chaperones to feed into and water that work the Holy Spirit had already begun to do.

It is so amazing to watch students-our students- worship with such freedom and abandon. Voices, hands, lives lifted high to Jesus, unashamed, unafraid.

The night was a challenge to move beyond the word commitment and instead move toward consecration.
It was a challenge to be devoted to Him and bold for Him...
A challenge to be connected intimately to Him and consumed by Him!
Easy to know...hard to do.

As we moved into church group devotion time after worship, there was just still such a sense that there was work the Holy Spirit still had work to do.
And wow did He ever!

Jarrett asked the question to begin with: "Does it bother you when you are disconnected from God?"

That question pierced us all in different ways, but for me, it ignited a Word from the Spirit that I could not contain.
I talked to them about needing to recognize the truth of whether they were plugged in to the Source- Jesus, or whether they were plugged into some outlet just for appearance sake, with no power running to it.
Because, if you have ever experienced power, you are going to do what's necessary to restore that power when there is a disconnect!
You don't believe me?
Think about what you did the last time there was even a flicker of a power disconnect in your house! Everything stops and notice is taken!
So if we have truly experienced the power of God, when there is a disconnect, you are going to have a desire to do what's necessary to reinstate that connection!
So the question is are you plugged into the true power source?!?
When something is plugged in to power...there is evidence.
It's really that simple.

Our students are in the midst of checking their power source.
Are you brave enough to honestly do the same?

Some have boldly proclaimed their need for a Savior and have surrendered their all!
I have had the privilege of kneeling on this Panama City beach sand and hearing them cry out for God to save them and cry out for God to take them and use them!
I have been humbled to be a part of seeing them plug in to the Ultimate Power Source so they can pierce the darkness with the light of Jesus!

The only reputation we build by playing games, playing religion, is the enemy's.
No more game players...be a transformer.
Get plugged in...shine His Light!
Be open. Be honest. Be His.

Tweet/post this:
Are u plugged into true Pwr Source?Whn plugged into pwr...there is evidence.It's tht simple.Be open.Be honest.Be His. #FugePCB

Redeemer

2011-07-14T11:07:00.000-04:00

Redeemer
Bound to You by my own hand
In Your grace alone I now can stand
Bound to Your freedom
A servant of Your truth
My Redeemer
Life of death now a life abundantly
A wreck restored
Broken made beautiful, useful for Him
My Redeemer
Transforming, transplanting His heart in place of mine
Intimate, extravagant Love
Fragrant, endless blood bought grace found in Him
My Redeemer
Ransomed, rescued, ruined, restored, resurrected by Him
My Redeeemer
He is
My Redeemer

Connections

2011-07-11T22:40:00.001-04:00

Camp has officially begun!
The students are pumped!
Why? Because they know that this week is an experience in the making.
But just what kind isn't up to us, the camp staff, their best friend, etc...
It's up to them.
The connection points are all around this week.
But THEY have to choose to plug in.

I have to choose to connect.
You have to choose to connect.
Connection is key.
Connections matter.
Connections are crucial.

That truth is the focus this week.

Ryan, our camp pastor put forth the truth this way:
"In order for there to be a connection with the Creator, there has to be a correction in the created."

Examining areas in need of correction isn't fun, but its necessary!
Why? Because disconnect leads to a void of power.
Jarrett posed this question to our church group:
"What isn't working in your life because of a failed connection?"

I am challenging myself to ask these hard questions and have the courage to listen to the Holy Spirit answer.

I want the ultimate connection with my GOD.
But I know that means radical correction has to take place in my SELF.

How will you connect with God this week?
Allow Him to correct your connection.

Keep lifting us up!....Julie

Tweet/Post this:
In order 4 there 2 b a connection w/ the Creator,there has 2 b a correction in the created.

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Fuge Panama City 2011

2011-07-11T00:19:00.000-04:00

Fuge Panama City 2011

We made it!
Well, almost, that is.
We're currently in a hotel near the camp location and will check in at camp just after lunch tomorrow.
Tonight, the students have had a blast swimming, hanging out together, eating loads of pizza, and generally taking run of the place!

We have been so proud of their conduct and attitudes on the way down and here at the hotel.
I pray it is indicative of the week ahead with this great group of students!

Tonight Jarrett challenged the youth to begin to thinking about the magnitude of the gift they have been given in salvation through Jesus Christ.
And I couldn't help but wonder myself...

What does my life declare that I value the most?
My words can proclaim many things, but my life declares the truth.

If someone simply watched my life, and were asked that question, what would they say?
Would they see passion for a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, passion to tell others about Him, passion to live out His desires?

Would they see a life being shaped by Jesus
or
a life trying to shove Jesus somewhere in the midst of it?

I am praying this week that we are all challenged to ask hard questions, hear hard answers, and do hard things.
I pray that whether for the first time ever or for the first time in a long time, Jesus would take His rightful place on the throne of our lives, and we would passionately, and with complete abandon, give Him the glory, honor and respect due His name!

What about you?

We would never simply just stay in the hotel this one night, then never actually go to the camp, yet come back and tell you how great the camp was.
What a waste of money, of time, of effort! How absurd!
What a pitiful comparison to the true reality of Fuge!....right?

Then why should any of us be content to come so close to a true experience with Jesus, yet leave without ever having actually gotten to the place where allowed His tranformation power affect us, boasting all the while of how great the experience was, that we have been where He is and allowed Him to dwell in us?

Empty words.
Empty actions.
Empty lives.

Don't be satisfied with "almost".
Let your LIFE say,
"I made it!
I have come fully into His presence...and I am forever changed!"

The End in Sight

2011-07-03T02:05:00.000-04:00

Our last full day in Nicaragua!
We began our day in a more rural area of Managua putting plastic over houses for the rainy season.
It was a great morning of work, with a good deal of walking in more hilly areas than we had been previously.
We split into teams and were able to finish about ten houses and leave the materials for the rest to be completed.
Our helper, who was a Nicaraguan even fell through a roof! Thankfully he didn't get hurt! An angel must have broken his fall! :)
We were all so glad we could get this work done after being rained out yesterday.

We ate lunch on the bus from Tip Top, a chicken restaurant, as we headed to Masaya to see a live Volcano!
It took about 30 minutes to get there.
The ride up to the volcano seemed pretty stressful on our us, but we made it!
The smell of sulfur was rather choking at first, but once you see the majesty of the creation in front of you, that is quickly forgotten.
We walked up a gazillion steps to a gorgeous lookout point.
It was amazing!
Except for the yellow jackets, that is.
They were everywhere and just as we were about to walk down and I was going to have another pic made, I put my hand down on one and got stung on the thumb. When I pulled my hand up, the entire stinger and rear end of that pesky little fellow was stuck in my thumb!
Not cool!
Tayla got stung too-on the back.
As we headed down the volcano, our bus driver, Alberto, told us he had something or new something that would help.
A few minutes later, he stopped in the middle of the road. We followed him to what we figured would be an Aloe Vera plant, but what turned out to be fresh mud which he piled on the area on the sting.
Those are some crazy pics to behold!
But guess what? It worked!
Neither one of us had any more swelling!
Praise the Lord!

We rode a little further and went to see Grenada, the oldest country in Nicaragua.
It was a beautiful place with a lot of history all around....and good shopping!
We had a great time getting great deals- or at least I did! ;)
The coffee we had was super and the atmoshpere of the little open air cafe was so magical and movie like to me!

We headed back to the guesthouse, ate supper, packed and weighed luggage, and then just spent time together,
Such a beautiful day in the physical and the spiritual today!

Time now for me to get to bed!
We have a church service at a local international church in the morning and Jarrett will preach.
Then off to the airport from there!

One last leg of the physical journey.
But I know it's just the beginning of the work has is doing in my Spirit!
Thank you Father!

Rain, Rain...

2011-07-02T02:22:00.000-04:00

And the rains came tumbling down.
For it to be the rainy season, we had mostly avoided rain, except for a couple of times at night. But usually the mission work had not been affected. Until today.

Our morning was an out-of-your-comfort-zone experience, but rewarding in so many ways.
We went to the only special needs orphanage in Nicaragua and spent time with the residents there. The people that were employed there were stretched to their limits in so many ways, yet they kept right on trying to meet the needs of these people that the world had forgotten.
These were the forgotten of the forgotten.
It was really touching to see how different residents were drawn to different members of the mission team.
Each person was challenged to stretch their heart for Jesus by putting it into action today and loving on "the least of these". But in doing so, we found that there is a treasure there that maybe we simply hadn't taken the time to understand.

We had Pizza Hit once again for lunch.
When that little itinerary detail was announced, you would have thought Jarrett told the team we were going to Disney World!
It was hilarious!
But I have to admit, it was good! I was able to order in Spanish all by myself:)!

We were supposed to go put plastic over 20 houses, but the rain changed our plans. :(
So we headed to the market! I love getting to use my bargaining skills!
It was like a maze in there! Especially when we headed to the non-tourist part. It was like nothing I had ever seen. The entire area was dark and sketchy, with cow tongue, cow eye balls, various meats just laying there in the open for purchase. Just about anything you could imagine plus everything you would never want to was available for purchase there! It was just crazy!

After the market, we came home for a nice meal and fellowship. We played some games, got to talk with other missionaries at the guest house, and just enjoyed being together in this environment...even if sometimes it was with no power, or with no water, or amidst a swarm of crazy bugs, or within the sound of a blaring whistle, barking dog or birds.
Hey, that's Nicaragua for you. ;)

What was more important to us is that it was with those who we now not only call brothers and sisters in Christ- we call them our friends.

What great gifts the Father rained down on us today:
Fresh showers of understanding, showers of trust, showers of nourishment, showers of joy and laughter, showers of relationship and friendship, showers of rest.

Tomorrow we will try to put on the plastic on the houses in the a.m. and do the sightseeing I. The afternoon.
Pray that we can accomplish it all!

Until next time... :)

In Other News...

2011-07-01T10:17:00.000-04:00

So in other news about our Thursday...
Today, we left Chinandega.
It was bittersweet because we knew we would also be leaving our wonderful translators today, too. They have partnered so wonderfully with us in ministry all week. Nadia and Rolando have been such a blessing.

We packed up the buses: one with the team and some luggage, the other just luggage.
And off we went for a 3 hour bus ride from Chinandega to Managua.
Things were going well until, you guessed it: we blew a tire. AGAIN!
Seriously, you can't make this stuff up!

We all piled out of the bus and climbed up a little hill to wait for the tore to be changed.
The students went off exploring in a pasture area behind us.
And then, headed our way, was a herd of cattle!
Again, I promise I am not making this up!
And at the head of this cow drive is a big bull with crazy big horns, and a pretty ticked off look on his face.
We all started moving out of the way, but realized the students- and Kevin- were in the pasture we assumed the cows were heading towards!
They were so far away that they couldn't hear us. So Jarrett starts hollering and waving his arms and tells them to run! the students-and Kevin- were confused, unsure whether Jarrett was serious on joking with them!

But no fear, the cows were heading straight along the path and not the pasture, so all was well.
Tony even tried his hand at cow herding...after the actual cow herder on the green bicycle with the stick rode by, that is.

We made it to the guest house all tires in tack, praise the Lord!
It is a beautiful place with a tropical feel.
Very homey, with places for us to enjoy interacting with each other as team.
We are all in dorm style rooms together on bunks.

It sounds tropical, too. The birds are very.....incessant. ;)
But I do admit it is a beautiful sound. Just maybe not so much at 5am.

Heading out to a special needs orphanage today, which I am sure will once again call us out of our comfort zones, so pray for us.
Then we are off to put plastic over houses to help prevent flooding during the rainy season.
Everyone is excited because Pizza Hut is the lunch destination.

I personally would be happy to just have the pineapple we had for breakfast! YUMMM!

Love to all and thanks for all your prayers!

The Tour That Saved a Life

2011-07-01T09:42:00.000-04:00

The next time God takes you on an extended tour of a certain area, even one you aren't too excited about visiting- you may want to stop and listen.
He may just have a reason for the tour.

This morning, God did just that.
We went to visit the medical clinic sponsored by the ministry we worked with in Chinandega. I knew about the clinic and generally what they did there, and had seen it several times as we had passed from time to time.
So today, in all honesty, I did not want to take time away from the mission work I had in mind- which was already cut to a half day- in order to see the clinic...but we did.

I will admit, I was not too engaged in it all as we began our tour.
On top of that, the tour seemed to be taking much longer than I really cared to spend.
But I did learn a lot about what they offered there and I also was able to pray for healing with a lady in the emergency area and that opportunity was a blessing for sure.

But I never considered that I would be using the knowledge I gained on that tour of a that place I didn't really care to be...

We split up as a mission team- some of us going to do construction and feeding/evangelism in one barrio, and some of us going to do feeding/evangelism in another barrio.
I was with the feeding/evangelism in the same barrio with construction.
Because we got to the work we had purposes to do a little later than we had intended, we were in full gear trying to prep the trash bags full of food-with dull knives I might add- so that we could feed the children of the barrio by noon.
We finally got everything chopped and ready to be put in the big pot and were excited to visit the school there and go door to door to meet the people.

A precious lady, full of the joy of the Lord, named Juanita led us around and had the teacher spread the word for the children to come back to the school because they had left for the day already. And sure enough, they did. We gave them a table full of supplies and prayed over the school and the volunteer teachers, who were probably no more than 18 years old.

As we walked further on, Jarrett, Tony and the translator Rolando encountered a man who was open to hearing about Jesus and he invited them in his home. Praise God! He prayed to receive Jesus!

As they spoke with him, though, I noticed 3 women standing at a distance, watching.
God said go to them, so I did.
I began a conversation with them about the Lord and ended up giving them each a Bible because they attended they church there and said they knew Jesus.
As began to walk back, one of the women called out to me to wait and come back. She asked me if I had a medicine injection because her little girl was sick. I explained that I was not a nurse or doctor. But she press further for my help and asked me to come with her to see her daughter.
I was unprepared.
I could immediately tell that this 10 year old little girl was not well, just by the discoloration of her face and her eyes.
But then, she slightly raised the long shirt she had on and showed me her left upper thigh. It was the worst infection/boil I had ever seen in my life. I teared up and tried to hold it together, but in the Spirit I could feel the pain and could feel the immensity of the infection in this girl's body. The Holy Spirit rose up an urgency in me. I said I'm sorry in Spanish over and over again.

As my mind clamored for something to do, not just say, I remembered where I had been.
I remembered the tour of the place I hadn't care to go.
Where I had been, even somewhat begrudgingly, was about to collide beautifully with where I was to effect change.

I told them about the clinic, and was able to share with them the details I had not know prior to the tour. We called our missionary and got confirmation the she could go. Her family had no money for the bus ride, so we gave her enough to get there and back home.

After praying with her, I left with such a heavy heart for her healing.
I wondered if she would go tot the clinic at all.

The team finished the rest of our work and we went back to Hotel Balcones, but parked around the corner, which was different than usual.
I stood waiting outside the bus for Jarrett when all of the sudden a little girl came up to me from across the street. She spoke very soft and quickly in Spanish and already being surprised by her coming up to me, I could not grasp what she was saying.
Then, she pointed across the street and there stood the mother of the the sick little girl...wait...this was the sick little girl!
Her mother has cleaned her up and put nice clothes on her.
She looked up at me with weak eyes and said thank you, hugged me, and limped back across the street to her mother.

She had come. The clinic was just 2 blocks away.
Her healing was nearby, and it was about to be realized in her life all because I had to spend time in that place I had not wanted to go.

We later got a call from the pastor who is over the clinic while we ate lunch. The doctor told him that this little girl was seriously ill and that she was at risk of losing her leg. The medicine to treat her and her treatments were extensive, so our church paid for it. Otherwise, this little would have died from this level of infection.

Yes, God had a reason for the tour. Even though to me it seemed like a distracting and unnecessary de-tour...it was a TOUR.
A planned tour that imparted valuable information for the work He had already purposed me to do, for the life of this little girl He was planning to save.

Evidence All Around

2011-06-30T01:33:00.000-04:00

Today was hot. From the beginning. Hot.
When you walked outside and into the sun, you knew it...because it slapped you in the face.
You didn't have to wait for someone to tell you.
There was evidence all around.
Sun piercing your eyes.
Sweat pouring from you skin.

And now, looking back, this was a picture of our day in the Spirit.
The Holy Spirit has been progressively turning the heat up on our work and ministry here-
and His fire was blazing.
The spark of inspiration to engage in this mission work ignited the fire months ago.
The flames have been burning and fueled along the way with faith, prayer, petition, His Word.
And today...today it was a raging inferno.
It was hot-mucho calor!

As we ministered in the barrio, sharing Jesus with to families and children, feeding poor,hungry, malnourished children...
As we put our hands to the construction of the feeding center and latrines...
As we ministered to women stuck in prostitution...
As we spoke on the radio and TV stations to lost souls, growing believers, youth bound by sin and addiction...
As we testified...
As we preached...
As we sang...
As we prayed with people for healing...
As we worshipped...
...no one had to tell us that the passionate fire of God was there.
It was evident all around!
The Son pierced our souls and the souls of the lost!
Our spirits overflowed with His love and power as we remained in the presence of the Flame.
Yes, there was evidence all around today!

And praise God- the Fire rages on!
Tomorrow we continue in the work.

My prayer is simply this, Lord:
Keep turning up the heat through the fire of Your Holy Spirit!
Consume us and let our lives be evidence of You in all that we put our hands to!
Hot. Burning with You.
For every breath that is to come, let that be the forecast!
For Your Glory Lord!

"...for our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:29

Waiting...

2011-06-29T10:35:00.001-04:00

The children place their bowls to mark their place in line for lunch at the feeding shelter. Then, they take off and play on a slide nearby or just with each other.
They were serious about their place in line! Especially because this day they were getting a hot meal from the shelter and not just fruit loops and oatmeal which is often the case.
Poplar Springs family...know that you purchased this food through your Holy Spirit inspired generosity!

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Volcanoes!

2011-06-29T10:12:00.001-04:00

This is a photo of volcanoes from the rooftop of the hotel in Cinandega.

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Feeding Shelter

2011-06-29T09:15:00.001-04:00

This photo is of the children and women in line for the feeding shelter in the barrio we had been in Tuesday morning.
We had opportunity to spend time with many of the children and share Christ with them as food was prepared.
It was a humbling experience to see them so appreciative of what we wouldn't even eat ourselves.
These families were just precious.
We saw several come to Christ in this barrio! Praise the Lord!!!

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Ladies Conference

2011-06-29T09:08:00.001-04:00

Wow what an awesome experience we had sharing with these local female pastors, pastor's wives and leaders in Chinandega!
This is a photo of the women who came forward to experience the transformation work the Holy Spirit brought down in that place Tuesday!
I preached and sang and our women pushed past language barriers and ministered to the by laying hands in them and praying for them as the Spirit led.
It was such a powerful time of freedom for these women and for us! We believe God began a mighty thing through these beautiful women.
We went to bless but ended up receiving just as much of a blessing ourselves!

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Nicaraguan Circus

2011-06-29T08:58:00.001-04:00

Jarrett preaches at the close of a Nicaraguan circus. No animals, etc in this circus. It was more a variety of acts and skits...but it was LOUD! Jarrett brought the Word boldly and in Holy Spirit power even with the craziness that was happening all around!

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Oh ME of Little Faith

2011-06-29T01:47:00.000-04:00

Oh ME of little faith.

How boring life would be if God only asked us to do the things that were comfortable, easy, or routine.
Yet...I all too often cringe as God asks me to step out rather than allow excitement to envelope my spirit.
Yes, I usually trudge forward, with the motive of obedience-but faith is lacking.
Because if I had the fullness of faith found in the grace of Jesus, I would stand firm on the truth that anything and everything He has asked me to do is overflowing with His transforming power.

Yesterday, the Lord asked me to display His attitude, responses, and choices in situations where letting flesh show up would not only have been easy, but it would have felt good to vent! He called me to do some things that were unfamiliar and new, rather than allowing me to pass that responsibility to someone else.

What did I do?
I displayed His attitude as best I could.
I stepped out and did what He asked me to do.

So...what does that have to do with today?
Yesterday, I saw the reality of what God can do when you come to the end of yourself.
Because of that, today I was able to walk forward in faith, with the assurance that He would do it all if I would just trust. Even when I think I need to do God a favor and help Him out, I just have to let go and let Him do the work through me.

"The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it." 1 Thessalonians5:24

Whatever He has asked, He has already released the fullness of His power to equip you to accomplish it!

That is the truth that the Holy Spirit has been planting in me as we have moved further into our Mission journey here in Nicaragua. And I look forward to all that He has yet to sculpt in me along the way here!

Our Tuesday began early!
We split into 3 teams. Some went to help construct a feeding shelter, some went to help prepare food at an existing feeding shelter, some went to construct a latrine, and a group went to speak on the local Christian radio program.
Wow! That's a lot to do!
But we all embraced our day with God driven excitement!

The construction team was also interviewed for TV during their day today. Michael did a great job I heard!:) They worked so hard all day, until the downpour came in the afternoon. They dug holes, mixed concrete, painted and set poles for the structure today...and man were they dirty! Maybe that rain was a good thing!

The radio team today consisted of Shirley, Nancy, Kevin, myself and Jarrett. Everyone did great speaking and sharing their heart.

The latrine team completed their task today! Onto another one in need of finishing tomorrow!

The food team did everything from cutting Yucca, to watching cow intestine skins be put into soup, to playing with children who lined up their bowls for the
blessing of food. Others from our team in this same Barrio(community), went door to door carrying the love of Jesus and Message of life and hope to hurting and desperate people.

After a later lunch, the women went to a Ladies Conference where I preached and sang to local female pastors and leaders from area churches.
What a powerful connection the Holy Spirit made between our group and theses women! So many made life transforming decisions! We had an amazing ministry time where we were able to speak directly into their lives as we layed hands on them and prayed for them.
We all truly felt that we left there having received so much more than we could even tried to give away .

Our final ministry opportunity of the day was definitely unlike any other!
We went to a Nicaraguan circus...but not what you are probably imagining.
Think circus as in...a variety of performances.
None of the stuff you would assume, really, except that it was loud. Very.
Five minutes after we walked in, I found out I was going to sing in the midst of the chaos! It was a neat experience for sure!
Jarrett preached a powerful evangelistic sermon and even in the craziness of the setting God, was SO in that place!

So now we are all in our rooms-tired but full, empty physically for the day, but so full spiritually.
I am nodding as I write this and my eyes are crossing. I'm actually looking forward to laying down on this extra firm mattress:)!

Wednesday, I am sure, will hold new discovered treasures that the Lord as gone before and placed on our paths.
My resolve is to have unwavering faith to seek and find them, no matter what else the world places on the path to distract!

Oh ME of little faith no more!

Father, help our expectations rise to the level of the people we encounter, wholeheartedly believing that God can and will do a mighty work through us!
Make us unashamed and fearless as we take hold of You and overflow with YOUR LOVE!

Nicaraguan Traffic Jam

2011-06-28T02:07:00.001-04:00

A herd of cows slowed our progress just a bit, as their owner waved a stick in the air. Hilariously interesting. :)

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Como se dice FLEXIBLE??

2011-06-28T01:59:00.000-04:00

Flexible.
That has been the word of the day. Well, the past two days, actually.
All I know to tell you is, the enemy sure must be scared of where the Holy Spirit is leading us because he has tried hard to block our path and slow our progress.
But our team has a resolve to live out Galatians 5:25 and keep in step with the Spirit! We were aware that the enemy had a strategy against the work we were setting out to do for the Kingdom, but we have been determined to keep our eyes on the Holy Spirit's strategy because that is our victory!

So you may have heard by now about our flat tire on the bus to Atlanta turning our 3 hour trip into 7 hours.
But did you also hear that God kept us from driving into horrific storms in the Atlanta area during the time we were sitting and waiting safely outside those storms? He even sent us a rainbow!

Arriving tired and relieved to our hotel at about 11pm, we eagerly grabbed our numerous heavy bags and backpacks, ready to fall into bed...and then had to lug them up 4 flights of stairs because the elevators were broken.
But no one complained( course at that point it may have been because we were gasping for air) and we found comfortable beds and several hours of rest awaited us after that unexpected climb.

After waking up at 5am, the next part of our day was seamless: eat at 6am, airport at 6:30am, unloaded and through security by 8, plane departure at 10am, safe and early arrival in Managua 1:30pm EST, Nicaraguan buses loaded and ready to pull out 12:30pm. Pretty good for 21 people.

At this point in the day, we were all hungry and tired.
Oh, and did I mention we were hungry?
We ate at the most Nicaraguan of restaurants: Pizza Hut! Lol!
It was so, so good. No I mean really. It really was!
And I don't even like pizza! ;)
A we waited on our food, we found out that when we arrived in the city where we will be ministering that we would have the opportunity to speak on a radio and TV show that evening, as well.

We then set out for Chinandega which is about a 2 and a half hour bus ride...that is if you are not with Poplar Springs Mission team, a.k.a. " We kill tires" mission team.
Yep, you guessed it: the bus blew a tire!

I don't even think I can explain the place we stopped to get it fixed on the side of the road, except to say it was a shack with a guy laying in a hammock on the front porch. We all hung around outside the bus, talked, played with a little girl who lived beside the tire place, and waited.
Even the bugs came out to greet us!

And still no one complained.

Plans changed moment by moment as we saw our arrival time in Chinandega slipping further away.
The tire was finally fixed and we headed to Pastor Osvaldo's home which he opened to all 21 of us for a wonderful meal of rice with peas, meat with onions, vegetables, mashed potatoes, and tortillas.
The pastor's wife Rosa was so welcoming and humble. Her hospitality was such a jewel in our day! And as if that weren't enough, they are going to feed us for the next two days as well!

We checked in to our hotel, Hotel Balcones, at 7:30pm(9:30 EST) with just enough time for 6 of us to change and head to the radio/ TV station for about 2 hours of on air ministry. Jarrett, myself, Ashley P., Jade K., Tony Q., and Jim R. ventured into the unknown!
I have to say I had no clue what to expect and I was exhausted.
On the way there I prayed, "Holy Spirit, this is all You."
And what did I find out?
Where I end is simply where His greatness can truly begin.
God showed up in a mighty way!

Yes it is true...Flexible has become our theme for Mission Nicaragua 2011.
God is writing the details of the story, letter by letter, word by word, line by line.
His purpose is great, His power is evident, and His people have chosen to embrace those truths here in Nicaragua, come what may!

Continue to lift up prayers on our behalf to the Father!

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

Tweet/Post this:
Where I end is simply where the greatness of God can truly begin. #Nicaragua2011

On-air!

2011-06-28T01:56:00.001-04:00

This is a photo of Jarrett, Jim and Tony from the control room monitor at the TV n radio station. God did a powerful work there!

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Off the Road Again

2011-06-28T01:53:00.001-04:00

This is the road side service station where we got the Nicaraguan bus tire fixed....finally.

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Nicaragua Mission Team 2011

2011-06-27T00:07:00.001-04:00

We made it!
God spread His promises across the sky for us tonight and renewed His joy in our midst...even when we had to climb up 4 flights of stairs because of broken hotel elevators.
Hey, I was excited to get in an unexpected workout! Yay that!;)
Sleep calls because 4:52am will be screaming my name before long.
Thank you for your prayers on our behalf!
Will update again as I can!
Goodnight!

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We are more than conquerors.God with us=VICTORY assured.Count on it.Live on it.

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Mission: Nicaragua 2011

2011-06-26T16:05:00.001-04:00

Planning. Preparing. Gathering. Packing.
Now what?
Going!
As I write, 21 of us are on the infamous big brown bus to Atlanta packed and ready to catch our plane in the morning.
The excitement is palatable with chitter chatter all around!
Just the physical planning and prepping in getting here has been full throttle, trying to anticipate needs and situations that may arise.
But as I travel this time in-between the planning and the mission itself, I am wondering: did I do all I needed to do to prepare spiritually?
When I encounter a situation and the Holy Spirit asks me to step up, to be an empty vessel, will I be ready?
You see, in the spirit just as in the physical, there has to be more than just a plan or good intentions.
The work of preparation is vital.
The patience required in gathering His promises is vital.
The diligence of packing that Word in your heart is essential.
And then...the going: the willingness to step out and be available for the Holy Spirit to use you- wherever you are.

So really, although my mission and your mission may be in different countries, states, or continents even, it is the same.

We are all called to plan, prepare, gather, pack, and then embark on our specific God inspired mission with excitement and anticipation whether its in the next yard over or two countries away.

His Kingdom calls:
Believer, this is your mission, if you choose to accept it...

Mission: Nicaragua....here we come!

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Prepare yourself to be an empty vessel 4 the Spirit 2 fill and pour out in ur mission 4 the Kingdom!

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In the Course of Time

2011-06-21T13:16:00.000-04:00

1 Samuel 1:20
"So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, 'Because I asked the lord for him.'"

Every step of faith, every breath we utter a petition before the Lord, we must realize that there is a course of time.
God ordained the course of time for human pregnancy and birth.
We understand that and accept it because it is known.
It is generally understood that nine months are needed to grow and birth a baby...

But what about the thing you have gone to God about and have fully believed him for and have been assured it will be provided, yet the pregnancy lingers on?

These are the days, months and years that weigh heavy...because we do not see the end in sight.
We don't have a pregnancy calendar or tracker to tell us what developmental stage the thing we are giving birth to is in...we simply must move forward each day in FAITH.
We must keep making choices that bring health, life and growth to the promise that was planted in us, that we carry deep in our bellies, so that we are ready for labor and birth and the LIFE is to follow!

Faith that there was a planting.
Faith that the seed is growing.
Faith that labor will begin.
Faith that birth will happen and we will survive it.
Faith that it's life will be gloriously God's......all in the course of His time.

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Make faith choices 2day that bring life n growth 2 specific promises God has planted in you. #trustHistiming

Reluctant Beggar

2011-06-13T08:00:00.002-04:00

I am a reluctant beggar.
And my guess is maybe you are, too.

It may be pride that stands in our way. It may be a sense of duty that rises up and convinces us to try harder, telling us that with just a little more effort we can see those results, find those solutions.

It is so easy to seek our own answers to our places of need, our areas of infirmity.
Try everything else...then maybe Jesus.
Healing and restoration seem so far out of reach that we never even come to the place where begging is even an option.
Our hearts cry out,
"Jesus isn't in this place of struggle! Jesus is too far away from my point of need!"

We fail to stop, look and listen in that place to recognize Jesus as He moves into this area of need in our life.

"And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched it were healed."
Matthew 14:35-36

The life changing encounter these people ultimately begged for all began at the point of recognition. Recognition positioned them to cry out for, then receive the healing.

Recognition led to
Declaration led to
Action led to
His presence led to
Desire led to
Petition led to
Healing.

When is the last time that I begged, petitioned for Jesus?

Do I want Him so badly that I beg for Him...that I will do whatever it takes to get nearer to Him because I know that He is the answer to my need and desperation?
That kind of longing only comes out of someone who KNOWS the reality of the very thing they are begging for...they cannot live without it...they are determined to not live without it!

Desiring, craving Him because you know nothing else will do...

The moments in which I find myself swept away first and foremost in the "doing" of ministry, of life, of kingdom living...those are the moments I find myself a reluctant beggar.

I cannot recognize a face I am not looking for.
I cannot declare truth I haven't take time to know.
I cannot take action when I resist receiving direction.
I miss out on the sweetness of His presence when I am constantly choosing to go my own way.
I dilute my desire when I pass by those moments of encounter.
I become a reluctant beggar.
I come in the proximity of healing yet never receiving it.

Wherever you are, Jesus is there.
Whatever need you have, His provision is far better than your best intentions and self sufficient strategies.

Beg for Him.
Beg for Him!

I want my life to be marked by my desperation for more and more and more of Jesus.
I want my life to unashamedly beg and plead for the Father to reveal and pour more of Himself out to me and in me.

What about you?
No more reluctant beggar.

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I want my life to be marked by my unashamed desperation for more and more and more of Jesus. #NoMoreReluctantBeggar #ForHisGlory

The Night Before the Step of Faith

2011-05-27T08:00:00.001-04:00

"Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, 'Abraham!' 'Here I am', he replied. Then God said, 'Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering...' Early the next morning, Abraham got up and saddled his donkey."
Genesis 22:1-3

I wonder what it must have been like.
The night before, God tells Abraham to go sacrifice, aka kill, his precious son...and then Abraham has to go to bed.
What?
That had to be one crazy night!
I can imagine that night was a night of an epic battle between spirit and flesh...heart and head...seen and unseen....
Faith versus sight went head to head during the night.
Thats probably why it says he got up early the next morning....because he wasn't sleeping anyway!....
...or was he?...

Abraham was obviously a man of stellar faith, but he was also human.
Did he simply take God at His word, no questions asked, and sleep like a log that night?
Or did he plead through the wee hours of the night for God to choose, or to find another way?
But, here's the thing...in the end, no matter how he spent the night, it's what happened when the sun crept above the horizon that matters:

He loaded his donkey.

When it was time to move, he moved.

When it was time to step out in faith, he stepped.

He may have been bright eyed and bushy tailed, or he may have been baggy eyed and sleep deprived...but...in faith he began the journey.

Maybe it was in those wee hours that God, in His sovereignty, also began the journey of a certain ram up a specific mountain called Moriah.

Maybe it was in those wee hours that provision had already begun making its way to the exact place and time of need.

The night was that time in-between time where we wrestle with the choice to remain on the path of faith,
where we seek the face of God for a glimmer of understanding,
where we live through the discomfort of the necessary alignment of our flesh with His perfect unsearchable will...
where we see the near daybreak of the realty of what we must do, and we wonder......

Can I really load that donkey?

Because that, well that makes the trip real.
That puts feet to the command.

Early the next morning. Early the next morning. Early the next morning.

Abraham didn't know exactly what God would do or would not do.
But I am sure he rested in the fact that he knew God...and that was enough.

He had only to release his faith and he knew God would do what needed to be done because only God really knew what that need was anyway.

So Abraham did what he knew to do...he loaded the donkey.

How will I choose to emerge from the night in-between the call/the command and the step out in faith?

Will the doubt of the in-between time be victorious and cause me to sleep in?

Will I get distracted when my feet hit the floor?
Or
Will I prepare and load the donkey for the specific journey of faith to which He has called me?

Will I focus more on my lack of rest than on my position of being just outside the circle of obedience?
Or
Will I care enough to plunge into that obedience regardless of what my flesh may say or likely experience?

Who God is.
THAT is my strength, my focus, my drive.

"Here I am."

I have only to step out in faith.
To obey.

Time to wake up and load the donkey.

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Who God is.THAT is my strength,my focus, my drive.He is enough...enough for me to step out in faith n obey. #forhisglory

Obedience...(sigh)...

2011-05-26T13:36:00.006-04:00

Obedience is not a word that is looked upon fondly in our culture these days. It is delicately omitted from wedding vows, and other conspicuous places because of it's supposedly burdensome nature.

But as I talked with my tween son the other night, who was so heavily burdened with the lack of his own disobedience, the Holy Spirit gave me a fresh perspective.

Frustrated with himself, Alex shared with me rather feverishly how he had declared that he was restricting himself from all he things he enjoyed most, things, that by the way were not wrong or evil things...but all the same he was no longer going to allow himself access to those things because every time he got so wrapped up in them, he tended to disobey.

So, he figured, if he removed those things, took all the fun and joy away, then he would be able to obey.

This, my friends, is the picture of living in the law.

We realize that we need to obey, but are so distracted when we try in our own strength, that we come to the conclusion that we must remove everything we hold dear or find joy in, so that obedience is all that's left to do.

What a distorted perspective we have!

Obedience is not the barrier that is dropped to separate us from all the things we enjoy!

No! God intended it to be the doorway to all the joy and treasures that He has awaiting you!

Obedience is the access point to the fullness of God!

Obedience is our joy!

Obedience is our privilege!

Before you guffaw at this claim, hear me out.

When the Holy Spirit points out an area in which He is asking you to obey, it isn't to keep you from something, it is to open the doorway to a new and fresh spiritual experience, a new and fresh fullness of Himself so that your very burden of trying to BE good enough can be lightened as you realize that in CHRIST alone...you already are!

This, my friends, is the picture of GRACE!

1 John 5:3-5 says, "This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."

The victory of overcoming the sinful patterns of my life, whether they are in thought, attitude, or action, is the gift of the Holy Spirit to me...if I am willing to unwrap it...in OBEDIENCE.

What use or good is a gift left wrapped, bow and paper in tact, on the shelf?

It only gathers dust.

The person to whom the gift was given has knowledge of the gift, but they can only experience a shadow of the joy and purpose for which the gift was intended to impart.

It has to be opened by way of obedience.

Maybe you don't know HOW to open the gift...maybe it is a strange and unfamiliar package that you are unsure of how to navigate.

Well here is your hope: YOU KNOW the GIVER! His HOLY SPIRIT lives in you. You are able because He is able.

Obedience is NOT fulfilling the law or commands through your own efforts, ideas, structures, maintenances or rituals.

For what good is obedience if it is driven by the root of bitterness?

Obedience is NOT trying to be holy or achieve holiness.

For what good is obedience if it is inspired by the root of pride?

Obedience IS fully embracing Christ in the midst of all the imperfection and sinfulness of my flesh that is continuously clamoring to lure me elsewhere.

Holiness is Christ. So as I embrace Christ, I will bear the fruit of holiness...I will find myself walking in obedience even when I am unsure of how to place one foot in front of the other.

How? Because it is Christ at work in me.

It is His love that compels me. It is His grace that inspires and humbles me.

"With an abundance of natural strength we are useless to God. With no strength at all, we can hold on to Him. And with His strength flowing through us, 'we are more than conquerors'(Rom 8:37)...I cannot please God, but there is no 'I cannot' in Christ. 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'(Phil 4:13)" -Nee

Understand today that obedience is not something God simply wants FROM you...it is what He wants FOR you.

God desires for you to RECEIVE all the riches of His grace, all the blessings of His love, all the fullness of His power, through the doorway of Holy Spirit empowered obedience.

"Now what I am commanding you to do today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach." Deuteronomy 30:11

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Obedience is not a barrier. It's the doorway to the fullness of the gifts of our limitless God, who empowers u thru His grace.

Tender Presence

2010-10-19T21:29:00.006-04:00

Tonight, as I had the privelege of entering into the presence of God with an amazing group of women, the Holy Spirit gave me the most precious vision of what was happening in the room.

As we began a time of listening and responding to the Word the Lord had taught us in our time together, I began to hear the tingling of brokenness fill the room. But it wasn't a clamoring crash...no...it was a beautiful sound. Music was made as pieces of our flesh fell away.

I listened to tears that resonated with the reality of His greatness, His goodness, His love, His truth, His freedom.

Strength stood.

Courage moved.

Vessels were broken.

Treasures were reclaimed.
And with treasures in hand, the reality of who He is and who we are not washed over us.

In that moment, the eyes of my spirit were opened to see the unseen, in a way that only the Holy Spirit can.

He wasn't just somewhere in the room.

Standing next to each woman...there He was: the Holy Spirit was tending to them.

He was tending to each one.

He was administering healing and comfort through the tenderness of His presence.

I saw it.

I experienced it.

The Person of the Holy Spirit had each one enveloped, counseling their spirits, healing the wounds of brokenness that are making way for growth beyond imagination.

Overwhelmed is the only way I can describe it.

Beautiful.

Beautiful is the picture painted by His presence over us.

Tender. Loving. Gracious.

He was so tender with our spirits, caring for His daughters in a way that only He can, even when He saw every part of the wretchedness we brought.

Oh how He loves!

Gentle, as we begin to walk forward in our healing on new feet, in unfamiliar places, longing for only one thing: to find more of Him.

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers lambs in his arms and

carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."

Isaiah 40:11

A Summer to Remember...

2010-06-08T16:46:00.003-04:00

Summertime!!!
I pray that you all are having a great summer thus far and that somewhere in the mix you find time to relax with family and vacate the everyday routines for a little rest time and fun time! :)
Jarrett and I had been telling the youth as summer approached that they have a choice: make this a summer to remember or a summer to forget.
So what about you?
How awesome would it be to be standing in the glory of of the golds and oranges of autumn, leaves falling around as the brisk wind carresses your face and fondly remember, "Ahh summer. The summer I gave it all to my Lord and really began to experience the love relationship He's been longing to have with me! The summer Our love really began!"
It isn't just for everyone else, you know.
It is for YOU.
Time is going to pass. Seasons are going to change....but will you remain the same?
Begin.
Start.
Commence.
Initiate.
What are you waiting for?

You have the power through the Holy Spirit.
You have the resource and wisdom through God's Word.
Unfortunately, there is one thing we all have that holds us back: PRIDE.
It disguises itself as many things, but PRIDE is the root to so much of what litters our lives and distracts and pulls us away from our Lord.

Pride tells you that spiritual intellect is better than relationship.
Pride tells you that keeping Jesus as one of many options is the same as having him as the only option.
Pride tells you it is ok to read the Word and apply it to everyone else, but not to yourself.
Pride tells you the more you do, the more you are.
Pride tells you that surrender is only for fanatics.
Pride tells you that you can follow Jesus and still look like the world.
Pride tells you that if it makes you happy, go for it.
Pride tells you that position is more important than obedience.
Pride tells you that this life is all about you and that it doesn't have to be all about Jesus until you die.
Pride tells you that being religious is the same thing, or even better than relationship.
Pride tells you that as long as you appear super religious, that you're good to go.
Pride tell tells you how to justify every choice you make.
Pride is the KING if excuses.
Pride is the ORIGIN of excuses.
Pride is the undetected, elusive cancer in your spirit.

Don't let it hide and wreak havoc on you any longer.
Don't wear yourself out pulling up the little weeds popping up over here, over there, continually in your spirit.
GO FOR THE ROOT.
Kill the source!
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you surrender your all, and through the power and authority of the blood of Jesus, loose you from the shackles of PRIDE!

We each have further to go in our relationship with the Father. Wherever you are, there is more of Him ready and waiting to be poured out into your life.
What are you waiting for?
What are you stuck in?

Some of us are stuck in routine.
Some of us are stuck in busyness.
Some of us are stuck in religion.
Some of us are stuck in fear.
Some of us are stuck in lies.
Some of us are stuck in ignorance.
Some of us are stuck in piety.
Some of us are stuck in bitterness.
Some of us are stuck in unforgiveness.
Some of us are stuck in complacency.
Some of us are stuck in apathy.
Some of us are stuck in intellect.
Some of us are stuck in denial.

Where are you? Where does the Holy Spirit say that YOU are?
Not where you think someone else has caused you to be or where the harshness of life's circumstances have put you....it's about where YOU have chosen to stay.
STAY.
REMAIN.

John 15
The Vine and the Branches
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunesa] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

Where have you placed your roots? What have you sunk your roots into?
Where are you remaining?

The fruit we produce is undeniable.
In today's world, many are in the habit of trying to harvest their real or actual fruit in darkness and then trying to pass of other fruit as their own, as if it came from the nutrients running through their veins, but the reality of where your roots are cannot stay hidden forever.
What flows in your inmost being will find its way out.
"...for out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34
"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:13

Don't stay stuck in the all the muck the enemy entices you into!
Don't allow pride to drive you into the mirey stench of the enemy and convince you to stay!

Plastic fruit in a bowl looks pretty, but it brings no nourishment, no joy, no sustenance...it only gathers dust and is obviously fake upon further inspection.

YOU are the desire of the Father's heart and He longs to see you free in His love, flourishing in His Spirit!

Will you choose to make this a summer to remember?
Will you make the choices necessary to "Produce fruit in keeping with repentance."(Matt 3:8) ?
Will you sink your roots deep into the PERSON of God, not just the activities of God?
Will you allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to you where the spirit of Pride has taken hold in you and allow Him to UPROOT all that is keeping you from fully experiencing the Lord?

This season will come and it will go....will you be the same with its passing?
Or will you be forever changed...rooted in His love...rooted in His power...rooted in His TRUTH?
Choose for this to be a summer to remember.

Ready....set.....GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

In the Waiting

2010-05-25T15:20:00.009-04:00

Laundry. The bane of my existence.

It is never done.

It is the job infinitely unfulfilled and incomplete.

I dread it. I procrastinate.
And then, I end up exactly where I am at this moment: waiting on the dryer to stop so I can go to sleep.
And no, I cannot just go on to bed because dryers left running unattended account for…well, some amount or number of house fires I heard somewhere. And that statistic, little or big as it may be, still looms in my mind and reminds me to stay awake- or get someone else to- if the dryer is still going when it is time for beddy-bye.
So here I sit at 1am in the morning at my desk in a dark house, save the glow of my computer and the faint light of my laundry closet creeping onto my kitchen floor, with the low rumble of the dryer lulling me into a sleep that I cannot embrace at the moment!

Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.

I really despise laundry.
Don’t I?
Well, maybe not.
As I ponder this, I realize that it isn’t actually the laundry that I despise; it is the laundering of the clothes that frustrates me so.
Laundry is that which gets laundered. So to say I dislike laundry is to say I dislike clothing, and…well…one glance at my closet will confirm that I do, in fact, like clothing.
So, you see, it is the act of laundering that truly is the source of these woes.

But the reality is, these clothes I like so well, if I desire to continue wearing them in such a way that is enjoyable and not brandishing a foreboding stench, then I must enter in to this place of laundering in order to experience the benefits that it affords me.
I simply place my garments in the washer and then dryer, carefully reading and following instructions on how to go about this task of cleaning my clothes so they are ready for wear.

My garments cannot go unlaundered or they ultimately will become useless- something they were never created or purchased to be.

So how are your garments…the garments of your soul and spirit?

Have you come to see the purifying of your soul and spirit as the bane of your existence, where dread leads to procrastination and the inability to “arrive” drives you insane as you stare at your unfulfilled, incomplete self?

Are you allowing them to be laundered so that they can be used in the purpose for which they were created and then purchased on the cross?

The reality is that so little is required for you and I to receive so very much.
I do not have to stand and scrub those clothes- I simply sort, measure, load.
I do not have to use the breath from my lungs to restore those clothes to a condition in which I could comfortably wear them- I simply toss them in the dryer and press start.

Yet, I speak of the process as though I did the work; like the labor was mine alone.
I wear my frustration as a badge of honor, a decorated heroine who has fought the battle of endless socks and won- if only for a fleeting moment…

But as I sit here and wait, I realize that I have done all that I can do and now I must simply wait and let the dryer do the rest...bring to completion what my act of faith began.

It would be pointless for me to keep running to the dryer every 5 seconds just to be absolutely certain that it really was going to dry my clothes.

I simply have to trust.

I have to do what I can do and then leave the rest up to the dryer.

Have I connected to the power source? Check.
Have I surrendered the clothing? Check.
Have I turned it on to access the power? Check.
Have I been patient in allowing it to accomplish what is intended? Well…………
Not so much.

I long for new clothes, fresh clothes, clothes that are exactly what I need for what is ahead of me at any given moment. Garments that have been through the wash and smell clean and fresh and ready to wear…that is what my heart cries out for.

But the fear of laundering must be cast aside.

The fear of what may happen to the garment cannot keep it from being lovingly placed in the wash so that it can be made clean and ready for the wear.
Clothes were made to be worn and enjoyed!

They only become a chore when they are dirty and in need of being cleansed!

We must each come to the realization that day by day, the stench of flesh rubs off on the garment of our spirit and we are in need of laundering.

Why? So that the blessing, joy, freshness, and newness can freely and fully flow in, breathe on us and prepare us to be effectively and completely used.

We cannot keep trying to find brand new clothes readily offered by the world and even borrowed clothes to put on when we haven’t allowed the Lord to cleanse the ones we have...our God-given clothes!

Take responsibility and do what has to be done.

In the words of Joyce Meyer, “ Just do what you can do and allow God to do what you cannot do.”

What does my impatience reveal? Too little faith and too much fear and feelings.

I simply must do what God has told me to do and have faith that He is working and doing everything that I cannot.

The result?
Garments that are pure and fresh…that have the scent of the Father lingering over them, the warmth of His touch radiating from them.
The kind of garments that you put you face into and breathe deeply and exhale,
“Ahhhh…this is the product of my waiting.”

The dryer just stopped....whew....and it scared me half to death as its BUZZZZZ broke the silence!

I was caught up in this writing God had called me to do- His speaking in the midst of my waiting.
Hmmmm.
Wow.

Just like that...............the silence is broken.

The process that induced the waiting has come to an end and the result is ready to be embraced…so that more of Him and less of me can be the reality in which I live and move and have my being.

There is always more laundering of this filthy soul to be done.

So I will simply do what I can do, what He asks me to do-and allow Him to do all that I cannot.

The filth of this soul that I loathe to launder is a glimpse at the great potential for the purity of Christ.

As I place it in the washer and dryer, the waiting produces a garment that is fresh and righteous according to God’s grace and goodness.

Not because of anything good that I have done, but because of the obedience in doing what I could do and having faith for Him to do the rest.

There are many “silences” in my life that I long to be broken. Some big; Some small.
But I will wait.
And then, I will breathe in the freshness only His Spirit can bring.

I will breathe deep the scent of my Father, embrace the warmth of His presence and I will exhale, “Ahhhhh…Lord, more of YOU is always worth the waiting.”

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior;

my God will hear me."

Micah 7:7

Excited Expectation

2010-04-30T00:18:00.007-04:00

I have to say...I was probably a little too excited.
A little too excited to see a movie that I had already seen numerous times and currently own...yet, here I was going to the movie theatre to see it ahhhh-gain.
But wait, there's more.
THIS time, I was going to see the movie on...da-da-dum....(enter the big booming announcer voice).....
IMAX 3D!
Gasp, awe...

Anyway, a new theatre opening locally was having their grand opening, and to celebrate was offering FREE movies of "recent Hollywood hits".
I love FREE. (Kudos to you theatre peeps for that great idea btw!)

Having realized that FREE would be the only way in which our family would be able to go all together to see a movie in...(here comes the voice again)...IMAX 3D, I quickly got on the task of gathering details about this opportunity and was determined to see it come to pass!
Movie choice: check.
Time:check.
Address to feed Lori(Jarrett's GPS): check.
Jacket for theatre: check.
So off we headed to see this movie we had all seen before, lots of times, and in all honesty, could have stayed home to watch.

As we rounded the corner to the theatre, I actually felt a little giddy...you know that little kid excitement that rises up inside.
My expectations were off the chart!
Yes, I am willing to admit that, I, the seatbelt freak, even unbuckled as soon as Jarrett turned into the parking lot, so as to uninhibit my calculated speedy exit from the vehicle in order to out walk other patrons headed to the ticket line!
I even left my family at the car.
I mean, hey- when its time to get to business, mama don't play.
Either your daddy can hold your hand across that parking lot or you can use the brain your heavenly Father gave you!...ok relax all you horrified people, I'm kidding. No children were left unattended in the viewing of the movie.
But for real, Jarrett brought them after I had gone ahead.

And so I got in line- the shortest line- and was relieved to find out our time was NOT sold out! YES!
Having heard that lines had been horrendous at times during this grand opening promo, I felt like waving my tickets and doing the "Rocky" dance, but I restrained myself, and instead just kept asking the kids over and over, "Aren't you excited? Mommy is excited! Isn't this great? Aren't you excited? Can you believe the blessing this is for us? Isn't God good? Aren't you excited?" (I realize, at this point, that those of you who feel you were not embarrassed enough as a child, are all wishing that I, too, was your mother. ha.)

We entered the theatre, found great seats right in the center, top and I prepared myself.
Phone silenced: check.
Jacket on: check.
All children pottied: check.
3D glasses cleaned with precision: check.
Comfortable positioning of 3D glasses for myself and kids tested and memorized : check.

And then, the moment came...
Previews had come and gone...and now as the theatre began to identify itself as...(here it comes)...IMAX 3D, what was on the screen suddenly transformed and came to life!
Words that had been on the screen now danced before me, nearer than I could ever have imagined. Details jumped from the screen flooding my eyes, my mind...and I couldn't just sit and let it pass me by! I stretched my arms out to reach for what was in front of me!

The responses were so varied, but were evident across the theatre:
Caroline giggled, I said WOW, some gasped, some ooed and ahhed, jaws dropped, polite people whispered, rude, oops I mean other people talked in an outside voice...and this was not even the beginning of the movie- it was merely of taste of what was to come!
I knew this was NOT going to disappoint!

More amazing, reach-out-and-touch-the-screen moments occurred as we saw this movie we had seen so many times...but why?

Why was this time different than all the others?

Because this time, we were experiencing this movie in the fullness its creator intended it to be experienced.
The time and detail placed in this film was for movie goers to not just see the story, hear the story...but to be drawn into the story and experience it.

How often do we approach our encounters with the One True Living God this way?

When is the last time that I had such a great level of expectation that I was actually giddy just thinking about what I was going to experience by coming in to the presence of the Lord?

When is the last time I spent that much preparation to be in God's presence?

When is the last time I made sure I was sharing with others around me the greateness of the One I was expecting to experience and let them know that same encounter is available to them?

When is the last time we threw off all that hinders, stepped outside of our rituals and routines and went after the Lord...even when others choose to lag behind?

When is the last time we simply embraced being in His presence, allowing Him to make Himself evident in us, through us, with laughter, ooos, ahhs, whispers, shouts, outstretched arms, a shared word?

Our Heavenly Father, the Creator of all, longs for you experience the fullness of Who He is!

He presence is not something to be simply spoken of, heard of, or seen through the vantage point of a man-made box.

His presence is a place of TRANSFORMATION.
His presence is a place of VISION.
His presence is a place of REVELATION.

It is to be experienced.

Why?
So that you can be transformed into His image.
So that you can have the vision of His perspective.
So that you can receive the revelation of His will for your life.

We have become so content to view God through a key-hole that we randomly stumble upon when life begins to trample on us...hoping to glimpse just enough to give us a clue about the story line and fashion our lives into a faint resemblance, then tout our knowledge of Him as though we actually knew Him in an experiential way.

But the reality is, the key that fits that hole was purchased on a cross on which Jesus bled and died, and was delivered into His hands when He rose from the dead three days later.
The door of sin and death that separates us is unlocked for all who believe.

Stop being a key-hole peeker and a threshhold dweller!

Expect to experience the fullness of God.
THAT is what God created you for and that is why Jesus died for you!

Don't settle for a 2D, 7 inch screen walk with the Lord when He has made an...(enter that big voice)...IMAX 3D abundant life available to YOU!
EXPECT it. EXPERIENCE it.

God never disappoints.

OH!....and did I mention, just like my cinema experience...it's FREE!
I love FREE. :)

"My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen you."

Job 42:5

"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."

1 Peter 2:2-3

"Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see-how good God is.

Blessed are you who run to Him"

Psalm 34:8

What Will YOU Ask?

2010-04-28T12:19:00.005-04:00

The Holy Spirit recently impressed this question on my spirit...

Have you asked the Lord to do something IN you

have you only asked Him to do something FOR you?

To be perfectly honest, asking Him to do something FOR you, the way most people approach it, requires little more than the asking.

Asking Him to do something IN you, however, means that you are ready to hear, surrender and respond in obedience.
It means you have placed yourself on the altar and are ready for examination...willing to allow the Great Physician to diagnose the core problem, the disease at hand- rather than simply saying "mask this symptom", "get rid of this negative side affect", "anesticize the problem".

Many times, the reason we do not receive the answers to the very things we talk God's ear off about is because we have not asked the right question first: Will you do something IN me Lord?

Ultimately, faith is required of both questions...but if you do not have the faith that trusts God to prune, sculpt, shape your life first, then the faith you claim to be releasing when you ask Him FOR something is not genuine faith: it is merely a ritualistic attempt to receive a desire of the flesh through religious means.

And when that doesn't work, self-reliance steps in to create the solution you want.

When you ask Him to do a work IN you, once you have heard His heart, then you can truly understand what it is you really need to be asking FOR...we will be praying what the Spirit desires because our soul(mind/will/emotions) is aligned with HIS rather than seeking desires of the flesh.

You begin to ask from a place of relationship, rather than treating the Lord like a drive through at a fast food restaurant.

You may begin asking FOR things, but there's one thing you will ask for, CRAVE the most:
MORE OF THE PERSON OF GOD.

You will be hungry for who He is rather than what He can give.
Period.

I have NEVER known ONE PERSON who had a GENUINE CRAZY PASSION for Jesus that this was not the case.

When it came to what the SOLD OUT, Jesus lovers sought after, what they wanted first and foremost......
.....They didn't seek a ministry platform. They didn't seek a class to teach. They didn't seek the next best worship song to sing. They didn't seek happiness. They didn't seek to keep up with the Jones'. They didn't seek more money and things. They didn't seek the next best position or promotion. They didn't seek to fit in. They didn't seek to look hot. They didn't seek to have read all the best Christian books. They didn't seek to be right. They didn't seek the world's approval. They didn't seek to be religiously entertained. They didn't seek to excel in EVERYthing. They didn't seek to BE everything. They didn't seek to label others. They didn't seek to solve all the mysteries of God and box it up to market it for the world. They didn't seek greater intelectual knowledge of Christ to further their own aspirations. They didn't seek religious fame. They didn't seek the appearance of perfection.......
......They sought JESUS, JESUS, and MORE JESUS.
THIS is it.

Some of the above may have happened as a result of seeking Him first, but it was never what they were clamoring after and hungering for!

In Revelation 2:4 Jesus says to the church that has DONE great things, that had endured hardships and perservered, "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love."

He wasn't talking to wretched people, blatant in their sin! He was talking to the ones everybody thought of as spiritual and strong. They were strong in things of God, but had stepped away from the person of God!

The interaction between the Holy Spirit and our spirit becomes so warped, distorted, clogged, mangled by all those things that we seek. We may even think that we are acting, reacting in good ways and seeking good things, but if there is ANY other motive than MORE of JESUS, we have forsaken our first love.

How do we keep this from happening?

ALWAYS ask Him to do something IN you before you ask Him to do something FOR you.

Psalm 139:23-24(The Message)
"Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong- then guide me on the road to eternal life."

I admit, I so many times let my head get before my spirit...you know when the soul tries to run the show and I start operating from a "religious"place rather than a "relationship" place, with no one around me the wiser...asking FOR things- even good and noble things...but forgetting to throw it all to the side and first go after the most important thing: simply HIM.

And why? For no other reason but to know Him more. If you are "trying" to get to know God so that blah blah this or blah blah that...then you need to go back to Psalm 139 and cry out the verses above! We need to consistently be asking the Holy Spirit to assess our motives, to look in the places we have begun to overlook, ignore and tolerate.
Then LISTEN...and allow the Holy Spirit to begin a powerful and amazing transformation in you!!!

Are you willing to be BRAVE and ask Him to do a mighty work IN you?

Are you willing to lay aside pious comparisons and self righteous attitudes that keep you where you are and are offering false assurance and breeding complacency?

Are you williing to let Him INVESTIGATE your life, without locking doors of your heart?
Are you ready to give Him an ALL ACCESS pass to ALL that you are?

He already knows every seen AND HIDDEN thing! (Heb 4:13!)

He is simply waiting on you to invite Him to begin creating a masterpiece out of your mess.

Stop trying to figure it out! He already has.
Surrender and Trust.

Let Him change you from the INside out.

I long for you to experience a PASSIONATE GROWTH EXPLOSION in your intimate relationship with GOD!

The real question is......do you?????

I Can't Sleep

2010-04-21T11:48:00.003-04:00

I am not a troubled sleeper....usually.
Lately, I have not rested as well as usual and it is honestly getting on my nerves.
I am the one who falls asleep as my head is on the way to the pillow, or-and Jarrett will back me up on this- in the middle of a sentence that I am reading aloud to you from the computer screen!
It's not the falling asleep, but the staying there that has been hit or miss as of late.
Friday night was one of those nights.
I woke up at 3:30.
Prayed.
Rolled over and looked at the clock at 4:15.
Prayed some more.
Along came 4:45...
You know those times when you know it is more than yourself keeping you awake? Maybe you do, maybe you don't....but I came to the point where I knew I wasn't supposed to be lying in that bed anymore. My spirit has been roused by the Holy Spirit. Something was up and He needed me up...
Finally, I said, "Ok Lord. I get it. I am getting up. What do you want me to do?"
And so I went-you could even say somewhat begrudgingly-to mine and the Lord's meeting place in the den, Bible and journal in hand, and waited....
And as I did, I felt impressed to write.
I didn't think and write, I simply wrote and then read what came out...and it was such an amazing thing when I went back and read!
The Holy Spirit molded my spirit into His desire in a matter of lines on a page and so gently led me to a place where I could receive...so sweetly plowed the hardened ground of my heart...so lovingly tuned the ears of my spirit to His frequency...

...and nothing else mattered.

It was a refreshing like no amount of sleep could ever bring.

I love Him SO much!
I mean, I really just love that He loves that time with me and will wake me up to get it.

So, what follows here is a rare excerpt from my journal from that early morning hour that the Holy Spirit has nudged me to share, because I want you to see how precious He is and how willing He is to be the most tender of Shepherds and guide you where you need to go...if you will just be willing to follow...

I can't sleep.
I don't know why.
Any noble purpose I've let slip by.
Some other one may have known what to do
In these moments given, this morning, brand new.
I can think of millions of tasks to fill the time-
All menial and domestic-nothing sublime.
But there's a need to satisfy down in my spirit and soul,
An emptiness calling, longing to be whole!
My spirit has been awakened to commune with Your love,
To lay aside earthly burdens and focus above.
Who You are awaits to show me who I can be.
Illuminate my mind, help these blind eyes to see!
So how can I answer, more than, "Here I am!",
And position myself before the Spotless Lamb?
In this unadultered hour, all I want is YOU.
As the moon begins to hide, let Your Son rise, revealing TRUTH.
There's a thinness to the walls that have seemed to separate,
A Divine entrance fashioned, a spiritual floodgate!
Anticipation trickles into the fog of my spirit,
Burned away by expectation as Your Holiness comes near it!
So come, Holy Spirit, take me where I dare not go!
Overwhelm this earthen vessel, help me receive what You desire me to know.
And I will wait before You.........
No, I won't leave...I'll adore You.....
You are why
I won't sleep.

Ezekiel 36:25-28(The Message)
"I'll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You'll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You'll be my people! I'll be your God!"

ENGAGE in Snuggle Time!

2010-04-05T11:23:00.004-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that I turn into a kid magnet at night.
As much as my 11, 9, and 7 year olds may ignore me at times during the day....at night everything changes.
And, of course, I LOVE IT! :)
They always want me to lay down with them, or either want to snuggle with me in my bed...and I cherish every minute.
The other night Caroline came running in my room and jumped onto Jarrett's side of the bed and said , "Mama, I want to snuggle with you! I want us to have snuggle time!"
"Sure!", I said.
So, she jumped under the covers and turned toward me, but just then, something that was on Food Network on the TV in our room caught her attention and she simply laid back on Jarrett's pillow rather than us actually snuggling.
We were close...but the snuggling just wasn't happening because you can't see how Chef Robert conquers his impossible cooking mission AND nuzzle into Mama simultaneously.
So Chef Robert won(the mission and my time slot!)
When the show ended the king of the land(Jarrett) came in and proclaimed that it was bed time which means: I want my bed and my spot...all kids to your beds, asap.

Caroline turned to me with this horrified look on her face.
"But Mama! I never got to snuggle with you! I wanted to snuggle and then I just forgot! And now I don't have time!"

It was true...I had been there beside her, turned toward her, arm extended, with a place right there for her to snuggle into me, and although she was close...she never actually snuggled in and received what her heart originally came there longing for.

What a picture for us as Believers.

Isn't that really what we all come to the Lord longing for?
Don't you want to just crawl into the arms of the Father and receive all that He has to offer you?

Ahh, to lay our head on the chest of the Father and listen to His heartbeat, to allow the rhthym of our breath, the rhythm of our LIFE to be in sync with His!

We come so close, but never quite make it to the moment that brings the nourishment our soul continually and ravenously longs for.
We may go to the right places, open the right books, even position ourselves around the right people, but we never ENGAGE.

The thing is, we can be coaxed, called upon, encouraged to, but until we choose to look away from what is distracting, turn TOWARD what God has made available and then MOVE INTO it...we will never experience what we came to the Lord to receive in the first place.

You will merely be in proximity of God, rather than IN the POWER of God.

"The kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but a matter of power."

1 Corinthians 4:20

It's about choosing to dissengage from the things that are taking the time that is for you and your heavenly Father.
It's about choosing to dissengage from even the seemingly harmless, even the "religous" good things when they are not what God has specifically told you are HIS BEST for your life.

Whatever is drawing your eye away from the Lord, whatever is silently but most assuredly siffening time that is His...DISSENGAGE!

Pull the plug, and tap into the REAL source!

Stop settling for fond memories and feel good stories of God's presence! It is not something He intends us to just talk about...He made it available through the blood of Jesus so we could WALK in it-DWELL in it!

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

Sadly, we strive more than we thrive...yet, what God desires for us to do is run into His arms, find peace for our souls and power for our steps!

"Come near to God and he will come near to you..." James 4:8

I promise you will never leave the arms of the Father-the true presence of the Lord-unchanged, when you ENGAGE in HIM!

It breaks my heart to see believers possessing the gift of salvation, but then leaving it dusty on some forgotten shelf in their life and then wondering why they are dissatisfied, wandering through life with no direction, never realizing their purpose in bringing the reality of the kingdom of God here on earth!

2 Timothy 2:5 describes it as, "...having a form of godliness but denying its power...".

"The Lord says, 'These people come near me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up of only rules taught by men.'" Isaiah 29:13

Ask yourself:
Am I content to just be in the vicinity of the things of God?
or
Am I ENGAGING in Person of God?

Let THIS moment be for you the moment that Caroline experienced when Jarrett announced bedtime!
Check into the reality of where you are or where you're not in regard to God's presence and power in your life!
To be a believer who exudes the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, is about more than good intentions!
The world has a way of making us "just forget", as Caroline did, by inundating our lives with must haves, must do's and priorites that always seem to rise above what our spirits are actually screaming for!
The Father wants you because he has so much ready and waiting to impart to you:

"No eyes have seen, no ears have heard, no mind has imagined

the things I have prepared for those who love me."

1 Corinthians 2:9

That night, after her reality check, Caroline came close, snuggling her whole body next to mine, looked into my face with those big brown eyes and said, "Mommy, pleeeeeease can I snuggle with you?"
The thing is...at that point, she had moved herself into my arm and was already snuggling! She had chosen to move herself into the position that had been made avaible to her long before that very moment...it was just that now, she had chosen to take hold of it.

ENGAGE!

"Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don't drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not heresay, that Jesus is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it." 2 Corinthians 13:5-7 The Message

Dig. Plant. Water. (Part 2)

2010-01-13T22:49:00.008-05:00

They say (I am not sure who “they” are, but anyway…) that when you have done something 21 times, it becomes a habit.
I, therefore, have concluded that I, Julie McNeely, have a lot of habits!
Some good, some…..not.
For instance…(and this is by no means an exhaustive list)
1. I pick my fingernails with my teeth when I am stressed. I used to bite them, so at least this habit has scaled back to intermittent “picking”.
2. I put my clothes at the end of the bed when taking them off rather than putting them where they need to go.
3. I squish my bottom lip or chin between my thumb and fingers when I am in deep thought.
4. I buckle my seatbelt every time I sit down in the seat of my car, even if I am only moving a foot.
5. When my sunglasses come off my face, they go on top of my head.
6. When I sit, I cross my legs in some shape, form or fashion.
7. When I put my knee braces on to go workout, I put on my left, then my right.
8. I go workout at least 4-5 times a week.
9. I take vitamins every morning before I go workout.
10. I say “like” , “or whatever” , and “ya know” in coversation waaaaaaaay too much.

Bad habits seem to form SO quickly, but good ones….well-those 21 times often feel like 21 YEARS! Right?
So of course, we should expect that when it comes to getting in God’s Word, our enemy is not going to make this seem easy.

As a matter of fact, a slew of excuses and eye rolls probably just bombarded your well intended spirit.
But hang on. Because while many habits you pursue may not produce the results or rewards that you had hoped for, choosing to create the habit of personally and consistently getting into God’s Word and storing it up in your heart, mind and spirit will ALWAYS give you a phenomenal return!

So let’s get down to the nitty gritty.
Do I feel like I have it all together and know what I am doing when it comes to searching God’s Word?
No.
Does it stop me from rolling up my sleeves and getting in there?
NO WAY!
Listen, if you were starving, would you not eat simply because you had not been given the title “Iron Chef”?
Would you just sit around and wait for someone to throw the food you need on your plate or even stick it in your mouth?
The last time I checked, the only people that wait for someone to stick food in their mouths are BABIES.
Ouch, I know.
It’s time to get fed by going to the spiritual kitchen and saying, “Daddy, my spirit needs food. I am hungry! Show me what to eat, how to eat it.” And guess what? He will provide!

So it is time to put on your big kid britches and allow the Holy Spirit to have a one on one conversation with you through the His Word.

Hebrews 6:1 (The Message)

"So come on, let's leave the preschool fingerpainting exercises on Christ and get on with the grand work of art. Grow up in Christ..."

You, yes YOU CAN do this!

It's not about getting it perfect or doing it just like someone else.

Just START.

If something about your effort didn't tickle your fancy, then change things up.

The Holy Spirit will lead you along the way

Let’s cover some basics that will be sure to help as you endeavor to DIG, PLANT, WATER:
1. DIG: In order to DIG, get a Bible you love. If aesthetics are a big thing for you, then get a pretty or handsome Bible that appeals to you! If you like a certain version, then make sure you have that one to open each time you sit down. The point is…get or get rid of anything that you could use as an excuse to NOT open the Word.
2. PLANT: If you want to plant, get a journal. Ok for all of you- especially men- who just went, “Ugh!” …hear me out. This is not for you to win the Pulitzer Prize, this is simply for you to focus on the Lord. When you write down what He is showing you, you are planting that truth in your life, in your heart, in your mind. When you write a prayer to Him, it will focus your heart and mind in a new way. Don’t we all write down things we want to remember or that are important to us? Then why in the world wouldn’t we write down what God is doing in our life? Journal, computer, notebook, etc…just WRITE. Before long, it will be the unquestionable companion to your Bible.
3. WATER: To nourish that planting, get note cards/index cards. Blank, lined, white, color, spiral bound, binder….the choice is yours.

DIG…
Now this next part may sound crazy, so stay with me…….open your Bible.
Yep, somewhere between the covers, find a page.
Is there a certain book of the Bible that is coming to mind? Go there and search through various chapters. Something will stick out to you.
Have something that is on your heart? Think of a keyword and then go to the back of the Bible to the part marked “concordance” and find that word. Look through some of the verses listed under that word.

Have a daily devotional that you read? Open to the scripture found there and explore from there.
The key is to not dismiss it when something seems to be highlighted in your spirit as you read. Even if you are not sure why at first, stop and pay attention to what is in front of you.
Read it again and again.
Look at the scripture notes on that verse at the bottom of the page.
Read any verses that are cross referenced with that verse.
Read the surrounding passages.

PLANT…
Next, write down the verse in your journal. I always write the date as well, so I can look back at when the Lord led me to that verse.
Then, simply write what that verse means to you or how it applies to your life and/or situation.
You may even want to write any prayer that you have in regard to how you desire to see this verse come alive in your life! Share your heart with the Lord and willingly deepen your intimacy with Him!

(I will go into my personal Bible study method/appraoch in more detail in another blog post. Right now we are just focusing on how to dig in and find verses to apply and memorize. Eventually, as the habit grows, the two will become one.)

WATER…
Now, don’t just close everything and walk away!
You want to claim this truth that the Lord has given to replace the lie in your life; claim the life that He has given to replace the death!
But obviously, you can’t walk around all day with your Bible and journal open before you.
So how can you WATER?
Write the verse down on an index card and place it anywhere your eyes will be during the day!
Put it on your dash, on your bathroom mirror, inside your briefcase, on your doorframes, on your door, inside your purse/wallet, in your pocket, on your cubicle/desk, above the baby’s changing table, the refrigerator door…and the list goes on.
Even write it on your hand!
If you choose to write them on spiral bound index cards or ones in a binder, keep it with you and flip through it during the day so you can claim them every chance you get!

In more detail, this is how the WATERing looks in my life…
About 8 years ago, my Big Sissy blessed me with what she called a “Watering Can”(thank you Shay!).
It is a binder for index cards that had sections for me, my children, marriage, etc. where I could write and place verses to claim/believe for those particular areas of my life.
Since that time, I have added many index cards!
For me, I use my Watering Can more for the long range, where I write promises I continually want to claim over these areas.
For the needs that arise and change week to week, day to day, I also keep spiral bound index cards or individual cards on which I write verses that apply to those specific things I am currently dealing with in my life.
For example, if I am feeling inadequate at what the Lord is asking me to do, I might write out
1 Thessalonians 5:24, “The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”

We all go through different seasons of our lives, where we deal with some things more intensely than others and we need God’s truth in our face to guide us as often as possible. Or there may be certain things that we know are always weak areas /areas the enemy tries to attack.
For the different seasons and areas of weakness, I sit down and DIG for verses in the Word. Then I place them in strategic places in my home.
If I am having trouble with self esteem, I will be sure to place a Truth right on my mirror where I know the paralyzing lies will pop into my head.
If I am having trouble sleeping soundly, I will place a verse about God assuring my rest right beside my bed.
If I am snapping at my kids while we are having school, I will place a verse about guarding my tongue in the school room in plain view!
And I could go on and on…
I have verses all over my house in what might seem like crazy places, but it works!

Another thing I do is to put useless time to work.
Let me explain…
Put verses you want to memorize in front of the toilet!(No further explanation on that one…)
If you wash dishes, keep small plastic frame behind the sink where you can change out verses.
When I work out, I choose a verse before I go-sometimes new, sometimes a more familiar one- to recite during my workout. I yell it, close my eyes and say it over and over, whatever I need to do to help me get through that last rep!
I put verses on the dash of my car to read at a red light or other such moments.
The verses on my bathroom mirror I read while I brush my teeth, dry my hair, etc. Just think how much time that ends up being in a week!

I am sure you can think of “dead” time in your day that you can turn into “life” by placing God’s word in it!

Don't feel hopeless and heap on condemnation because you do nothing.

Just do something.

Just START.

So if you ever wonder why I carry that big ole Bible bag, why I write so feverishly in my journal, or why I keep pulling out index cards, it’s all because I am choosing to DIG, PLANT, and WATER.
I am hungry.
I am thirsty.
I am nowhere near the place I could be with Jesus and I just can’t get enough of Him.

My walk with Him is never perfect, so THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR GRACE! :)
This is simply a glimpse at some of the things I do in an attempt to get more of Him and less of me.

What will YOU do?

Deuteronomy 6: 5-9
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Dig. Plant. Water. (Part 1)

2010-01-12T16:46:00.011-05:00

The Holy Bible. God's Word. The Word. Scripture.
It is more than what our human blabbering could ever accurately describe or emphasize to the appropriate degree.

Water for our thirst.
Food for our soul.
Rest for our labor.
Wisdom for our ignorance.
No fail GPS for our directionally deprived selves.
Spirit for our flesh.
Life for our death.

And yet, we all too easily dismiss the very source from which we can glean the answers to all the many questions we wade, swim, flail and even drown in.

I remember the time when I became so overwhelmed with the desire to know God more, yet just couldn't seem to figure out how to get there. I read more books, listened to more sermons, volunteered for more Kingdom driven activities, listened to Christian music, even wrote in my journal and prayed more.
All the while the answer I needed lie in the then silvery lined pages of navy bonded leather that I picked up every Sunday and intermittently during the week.

I never took time to HIDE His Word in my heart.
I never pondered on the truths that He revealed within His Word.

But the time came when I realized that nobody else could have my relationship with Jesus for me.

A quote I read recently expressed it this way:

"There are no second-hand meaningful relationships."

Sadly, so many have settled for being acquaintances with Jesus, rather than entering into the passionate love relationship that He died to have with you.

Once I let this truth penetrate my heart, the breath that I took in my spirit was deeper than any I had ever taken before...the air was pure, refreshing, invigorating...and I had to have more!

And I knew the place I had to go to know Him more, to read His words, to hear His voice, to see His way, to learn His character, to discover His promises for me...to find TRUTH.....

GOD'S WORD.

But just like with any deep, meaningful relationship, it is not something you slap at and skim over. You have to intentionally get into the Bible and read and study and ponder on what He places before you there!

I believe one of the greatest strongholds that enemy has on Believers is convincing them that God's Word is intimidating and not understandable for them personally.
As a result, they conclude they shouldn't even bother because they won't get anything out of it anyway.

We get stuck on the HOW and never get to the DO: a powerless purgatory!

Satan knows the power of Scripture...Jesus used it to defeat him in the wilderness! Just look in Matthew 4 and Luke 4!
No wonder the enemy wants to keep it out of our hands!

But more critically, the enemy wants to keep it out of our hearts, minds and spirits and ultimately, our mouths.

So when was the last time the Truths that lie in that Bible in your hand/on your shelf/in your Bible bag/on your ipod/etc. made its way into your heart, mind, spirit-and as a result found its way back out your mouth?

We must be resolved as Believers to store up His Word in our hearts!
But in order to do that you have to get in His Word and take hold of what He gives you there!

A dear friend of mine recently began an effort to increase the awareness for what I believe is a great need we have as Believers to do just that: hide God's Word in our hearts- in particular focusing on memorizing scripture.
So many of us know in our head we need to do it and we may even want to do it...but I realized, that so many ask me for detail about how to memorize scripture yet never embrace it.
So, maybe we need to ask this question first: Why memorize scripture?

If you aren't convinced of WHY then you will never carry out the HOW.

Matthew 12:34 says, "For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks."

If we say we are children of the One True God, shouldn't we know our Father's heart?
Shouldn't we sound like, speak like, think like, act like, react like our Father?
Shouldn't HE be what flows out of our mouths?

Why guess what He would say? Just get in His Word and actually SAY exactly what He has said, what he is saying, and what He will say!
That is the power and confidence we have in the Word.

His Word is POWER.

2 Timothy 3:16-17
"All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work."

We have to know His Word before we can speak it, think it and live it.

There is so much more to memorizing scripture than simply reciting a verse, because to store it up it in your heart, you have to experience it, you have to dwell on it, soak in it, put it before you!!! Having the verse memorized simply happens as an added benefit!

It cannot be about checking off another thing on your"good Christian" list. That will never affect change in your spirit...and seeing more of Jesus and less of self should be the ultimate goal.

"He must increase. I must decrease." John 3:30

So what do you do?

Dig.

Plant.

Water.

DIG:

Dig in the Word and find what the Lord says about the longings, desperations, issues in your heart and life. Do this by reading various through places/books in the Bible, letting a devotional or other Godly topical resource guide you there, or even just looking up a key word in the concordance in the back of most Bibles.

Getting your hands dirty is the first step to getting your spirit clean!

PLANT:

Plant His promises and truths in your heart, mind, soul, spirit! Read the scripture over and over. Write it in your journal. Write about what the Lord is showing your in regard to that verse, Himself, His ways and its application in your life. Study the verse in the context of the surrounding scriptures.

Place it carefully and intentionally...that seed has LIFE!

WATER:

Water His promises and truths by consistently and constantly placing them before your mind, your eyes, your spirit! Write them out on note cards, place them in spot you look at every day. Write them in your journal repeatedly. Go back and read what you wrote previously about that scripture in your journal. Speak it over and over as you do some monotonous task like brushing your teeth. Say it in your head in place of that negative self talk or thought the enemy throws at you! Whatever keeps it at the fore front of your mind: DO IT!

The seed you nourish is ultimately the fruit you will reap!

This is just a piece of my heart, a glimpse at my passion when it comes to embracing the Word of God.

It changed...no...it CHANGES my life every single day.

The way God will lead you into His Word is different from the next person, but I do believe it helps to share tips, ideas, methods of how we seek to keep His Word before us. I have had a good many of you ask me to share that in detail and that is what I will do in my next post.

Who knows...I may even share some photos!

The BEST advice I have is this: Open your Bible. Read. Listen. Do.

Psalm 119:9-16

9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
12 Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees.
13 With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth.
14 I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches.
15 I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.
16 I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

"Come out! You're Surrounded!"...by His Majesty!

2009-10-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

Recently I was at a wedding held in the beautiful setting of the Blue Ridge Mountains.
The front of the church, behind the stage, was nothing but a huge glass window which overlooked the majesty of these mountains.
One large peak stood directly behind the church in the foreground of this larger than life picture out of this window wall, with others sprinkled around in the distance of the landscape.
It would have been mesmerizing on any day, but on this particular day, it was raining, and the scene seemed to morph second by second. The clouds hovered all around. At first, they simply kissed the tip of the mountain, but then they moved low from time to time.
As I watched in breathtaking trance, with melodies from the grand piano filling my ears and my spirit, I found myself frustrated to see this grandios peak covered by the clouds that had once been simply backgound to the portrait before me. This mountain in all its beauty had seemingly been consumed, and now it simply looked like a minor hill of trees, topped off by a massive cloud.
The perspective had changed...but the reality that the mountain was still there had not.

In that moment the Holy Spirit whispered, "This is what the world seeks to do to My majesty."

The majesty of God clouded by the world. Sadly, I know that it is true. And worse, I know I have allowed my life to be a part of it time and again.

We catch glimpses of the grandios holiness of God, the fullness of His power, the truth of His love and grace...and are in awe...mesmerized by the beauty of it all.
But then, we allow clouds of distraction, fear, shame, pride, biterness, busy-ness, religion(etc., etc.) to come in and cover over the massivenesss of the Lord's majesty.
And then, the wondrous, glory filled picture we declared would forever be at the forefront of our minds, slips somewhere into our memory.

We forget the reality of who God is.

He becomes a minor player on the canvas of our lives. The One whom the window was created to glorify is now merely a part of the picture, rather than the theme.
The perspective has changed...but the reality that His majesty is there has not!

"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!"

Psalm 8:9

THIS has to be our perspective! THIS has to be our life theme- the picture painted by our life!

Psalm 22:25 says, "From You comes the theme of my praise..."

What theme does your life resound?

Have you allowed clouds come in and distort your view?

We get caught up in the ever changing scenery rather than focus on the glory of God that fills the frame of our lives. It stands tall before us, yet we choose to see the piece and not the whole. Why? Because we feel much bigger ourselves when we choose not to turn toward and acknowledge the greatness of God.
And, after all, it is all about us, right?!?

"The Lord looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God."

Psalm 14:2

Will God find you in the middle of already looking for Him?

"Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near." Isaiah 55:6

Don't let the clouds of this world fade in and warp your view of the awesomeness of the One True God!
They may mask His majesty for a time, but the glory of the Lord WILL be reavealed!
Let it begin in you! Let it begin through you!

"For from Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things.

To Him be the glory forever! Amen."

Romans 11:36

Are You Ready?

2009-10-19T16:32:00.007-04:00

I recently set out to write a very basic, informational email to my dicipleship/acccontability group when the Holy Spirit decided to step in and do otherwise. It was a very out-of-body typing experience, to say the least. It seemed as though I read it as I wrote! And, as I read what was on the screen, I realized the Holy Spirit was pouring out a compilation of what He had been pouring in to me over the past days and weeks.

It's all about truthfully answering, and taking a long hard look at, the very questions we avoid, which are the very questions that will ultimately be unavoidable!

"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare befores the eyes of Him to whom we must give an account." Hebrews 4:13

So here are bits and pieces of what God poured out, slightly modified as the Holy Spirit guided for the purpose of this blog context:

What if, when you come into any setting of teaching, preaching, worship service, etc., you genuinely asked:
"What am I going to allow God to show up and DO in ME?!?"
WOW! What if we all entered into these times that way?!?
What if we WOKE UP with that question leaping from our tongue?!?
Can't you just see Heaven readying itself to open up and pour out on us if that was the genuine, unashamed cry of our hearts?!?

The major obstacle for each one of us is PRIDE. It is so easy for us to slip into this mindset because the enemy brings in deception and convinces us to label a PRIDEFUL mindset as so many other things:
shyness, our personlaity trait, or
"it's just the way I am",
"it's just the way I respond",
"I am a private person",
"I am more spiritually mature",
"I've already heard that",
"I already know that",
"So and so next to me sure does need to hear that.",
"I'm too busy",
"I don't have that kind of time.",
"I'll let God work in me LATER.",
"I am fine with where I am with God.",
"I don't need to be all radical, I'll just do what I think is enough."
....and on and on and on......................

No matter where you ARE or where you AREN'T with God....He has MORE for YOU!

Jesus is ready to give you the life He died for you to have!
Did you read that?!
JESUS IS READY TO GIVE YOU THE LIFE HE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU TO HAVE!!!!!
There is always more of Himself that He desires to impart to you so that He can transform you into His likeness!

John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Will it take sacrifice? yes.
Will it be hard at times? yes.
Will it be worth it? YES YES YES YES YES! Beyond your wildest dreams....YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I gave you the sure fire perscription for the healthy, beautiful body you've always wanted, and told you it was FREE, whether you were in ok shape and morbidly obese, I doubt anyone would turn it down. And you surely would't be embarrassed to take hold of that which would bring life and health and happiness!
Jesus has given us the sure fire perscription for the ultimate satisfaction to the deep longing of your spirit/soul, and it is FREE.
Why then are we, even as those who already have a saving knowledge of Jesus, turning Him down time after time, moment after moment?
There is no embarassment in embracing, whether for the first time or on a deeper level, the power of the One True Living God who will bring life and health and happiness to your spirit!

Don't let PRIDE steal what Jesus died and rose for you to have!
So what if someone else doesn't "get" what God is doing in your life?! It's not about anyone else- it's about YOU and GOD.
He is all that matters. He is ALL that matters!

THINK ABOUT IT...
Are YOU ready?
Have you settled the most core question there is?
Have you allowed Jesus to come in and take care of your debt of sin?
Are you struggling to know God more maybe because you have never known Him FIRST?
NOW is the time.
Stop playing games and making excuses- you are dealing with your ETERNITY.
MAKE SURE you have TRULY given your LIFE to the LORD.
Embarrassment and shame are from the enemy- schemes and tactics to keep you on a path straight to Hell! I love you enough to shoot straight with you- and that my friends is the TRUTH.
Don't buy into the lies of the one who hates you enough to keep you ETERNALLY separated from the Lover of your soul!

THINK ABOUT IT...
And what if you have dealt with that sin debt? Does your LIFE say that is true?
Would others know that about you without having to ask?
Are you content with just enough of God or do you live your life craving more of Him?
Is He simply IN your life or have you allowed Him to be ON THE THRONE of your life?
Are you willing to go wherever He takes you or do you just take God where you want to go?
Are you in His Word?
Do you know His Word?
Are you willing to do whatever He asks or do you simply ask Him to do whatever you want Him to do?
If you have prayed to receive Jesus as the Lord of your life, you already have victory over the enemy! Don't let His lies keep you from EXPERIENCING the POWER, the RELATIONSHIP, the continual TRANSFORMATION that can only be found in Jesus, through the power and moving of His Holy Spirit!

It is our choice- yours and mine-to make.

Do you understand that not saying YES to God is saying NO to God?
We don't like to think about it that way, but THAT is the truth.
But here is the best part...saying YES to God is taking hold of all of His promises, His power, the inheritance He has RIGHT NOW for you, in every area of your life, for every day, for every moment!
Let's stop living like we are paupers when Jesus gives us the right to call ourselves ROYALTY as sons and daughters of the King.

Stop. Plainly ask the Lord to show you where you are and what questions you need to deal with- not where you HOPE you are, but ask Him to show you where you REALLY are- no games, no excuses- let's face the truth head on, no matter what it is and stop getting caught up in the enemy's web of lies.
It's time to look the truth in the face and deal with it by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Only then can we receive all He has in store for us.

Ok so, yes, being sold out to the Lord-really sold out according to the standards set in God's Word, not the world's pathetic standards- may look strange to some...even to some of those who call themselves "Christians". But in the end, we will each stand before the Lord, and in that moment, it won't matter what anyone else thought about how your life answered these questions. All that will matter is HOW God saw your life actually answer these questions

So.....
Are you ready?

Matthew 7:21-29 (The Message)READ! DON'T SKIP THIS PART!
(bold type emphases mine)

21-23"Knowing the correct password—saying 'Master, Master,' for instance— isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, 'Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' And do you know what I am going to say? 'You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.'

24-25"These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.

26-27"But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards."

28-29When Jesus concluded his address, the crowd burst into applause. They had never heard teaching like this. It was apparent that he was living everything he was saying—quite a contrast to their religion teachers! This was the best teaching they had ever heard.

The time is NOW.
Believer, non-believer...we all have a choice to make.
What is your choice???
Your life, not your words, is the evidence of the choice you make.

"Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." Matthew 7:20

Awake at Dark-thirty!

2009-08-26T09:03:00.003-04:00

Lessons I Learned in the Dark:
1. When you finally decide to go wake your soundly sleeping husband in order for him to yell at the dogs which have been incessantly barking for the past hour, which are in turn keeping awake the child you have been trying to coax back to sleep for that same hour, and you then proceed to turn off the house alarm, and rattle the blinds, and huff a sufficient amount of times, he will get up. But…it is the split second before he opens the door and clicks on his Barney Fife flashlight that the dogs will inevitably STOP their incessant barking.
2. A child’s whisper of “mama”, coupled with maternal instinct and will, are strong enough to overcome the medicinal induced coma of a Darvecet and make you forget about the headache for which you took it.
3. What six year old little girls and grown men can sleep through is baffling.
4. Bad dreams affect more than just the ones who dream them.
5. Praying over the one who has had a bad dream affects more than just the one for whom you are praying.
6. Just as you drift back to sleep, you will be reminded that children’s inability to sleep happens in shifts.
7. The peace that a child receives from reaching out in the darkness with their precious hand every few moments and saying, “Mama, are you still there?” brings a mother inexplicable joy.
8. Sacrificing a portion of the bed that is rightfully mine is worth every recaptured moment of peaceful sleep for my child.
9. When you decide that, in order to get caught up on some things such as blogging, you will just go ahead and stay awake…so will everyone else.
10. Even in the darkest and longest of nights…sunrise comes.

Am I tired this morning? Yes. Am I concerned about how I will function through my day? Yes. Am I longing for rest? Yes. Am I still stumbling in the early morning fog? Yes.

Am I regretful that I had to experience such a night? No.

These lessons I learned in the dark, much deeper than their appearances, have taught and reminded me of truths that I would not have readily received or taken time to remember in the busy light of day.

There is purpose in the darkness.

“You are my lamp, O Lord, You turn my darkness into light.”
2 Samuel 22:29

And even as we fumble through it, there are treasures to be found, if we choose to find them.

“If I’m sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection…I hold on to you for dear life and you hold me steady as a post.”
Psalm 63:6-8(The Message)

So, although I say it with a yawn and the croaky voice leftover from a long night,

I still choose to say, “Thank You, Lord.”

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oops. My head hit the keyboard.

Sorry, still human…. need…... sleep.......must….....rest...….soon…..........

Practical Love

2009-05-21T11:19:00.004-04:00

A few Saturdays ago our Sunday School had a Yard Sale as a fundraiser for our church’s upcoming Mission Trip to the Dominican Republic. We were determined to minister in the midst of it and WOW did God do some awesome things! This led us to the next adventure with the Lord the following week. We were given the “homework assignment” to purposely show practical love and sacrifice in our life some way during the week and then report the following Sunday.

God did some amazing things in my life personally that week:

He reminded me how He wants me to obey the best things He has purposed me to do and not just random noble things I could do for Him.

He showed me that I don’t have to have it all figured out before I obey, I just have to take the step of obedience and He will provide the rest!

The Lord is prepared to multiply what I sacrifice until the need I am sacrificing toward is met! Fishes and loaves anybody?

So we came together Sunday and shared in groups the ways we had sacrificed to express the love of Jesus that past week. The sound of people moving in harmony with God’s love was music to my soul. People shared the joys, fears, expectations they had experienced as they sought to share the practical love of Jesus.
But as each person tried to recount Holy Spirit inspired actions through mere human words, the Lord reminded me that He had already written the words through which each sacrifice could be explained: The gifts of the Spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22

I often think about these fruits as things I desire for the Holy Spirit to give and raise up in me. They are virtues that the Lord desires for me to allow the Holy Spirit to sculpt into my character as a Believer. But I have allowed my self-centeredness stop me right there, when there is so much more!
It is not a gift simply to be given to me so that I can proudly display it on the shelf of my pretty Christian life. I am the tree that God wants to cultivate to produce His fruit. He wants me to bear this fruit so that it can nourish the lives of others for the glory of His kingdom to be realized here on this earth!

Too many times, I am wrapped up in being a fruit eater and not a fruit producer.
Too many times I am wrapped up in what the Holy Spirit can give me, not what I can give through Him.

So when was the last time you nourished someone with the fruit of love that the Lord has produced in your life?

When was the last time someone tasted the sweetness of joy because of Christ in you?

Have you not just experienced peace but actually given it today?

Have you shown patience to one who needs it, deserved or not?

Have you offered the simplicity of kindness?

When did you last allow God’s goodness to be tangibly expressed through you?

Have you been the hands and feet of God’s faithfulness, rather than just the mouthpiece?

Have you embraced others with His gentleness?

Have you harnessed your energy for God and directed it toward doing His will?

“Against such things there is no law.”
That means there is FREEDOM in it.
The world will tell you that this type of giving is too high risk! But it is the selfishness and self-centered attitudes that will incarcerate you.
The walls of the prison are built with the blocks of apathy, piety, religious hypocrisy, complacency, comfort, and self preservation.
Drawing close to the Lord is the only way our lives can produce this life giving fruit. Remaining in that place of true intimacy is the only way we will ever have His heartbeat to give, to reach out, to love, to nourish with what He has so generously, so graciously given to us.

“Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop-on a light stand-shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

Practice. Love. Simple as that.

My Deliverer

2009-05-19T19:31:00.007-04:00

Today I went to THE doctor.
You know, the one when you tell people that you went they they go "Ohhhh".
Yes I went to the doctor that also happens to be the one who delivered my children. My kids wondered when I picked them up from school why I was dressed up and it was not even a Sunday.
Sad, I know.

Questioned once again about my outfit choice for the day- as if they were shocked I actually DID something while they were at school-I figured I would spur conversation with my answer...so I told them that I saw the doctor that delivered them-the doctor that helped bring them into the world.
Not sure what reaction I was expecting-maybe the opportunity to tell them their birth story or something. But then came reality...
They were completely unimpressed.
Although I did get a polite, "Oh really?" from Jonathan which turned into short lived interest as he then began reciting the word "deliver" in different ways, as only an 8 year old comedian can do.

Realizing the conversation had been lost, I traveled into my own thoughts, taking with me the word "deliver", where-as often happens in this crazy brain of mine-a song was triggered: "My Deliverer" by Chris Tomlin.

As the song played on a round in my head, I began to think about what that word "deliver" really meant.

When I was talking to the kids about the doctor as their deliverer, the one who delivered them, I thought about how he brought them into the world. The focus was not on what he delivered them from, but what he delivered them into: fullness of life.

But then I realized that when I think about the Lord as my Deliverer, I have the opposite tendency. I tend to think about what He delivered me from, never fully focusing on what He has delivered me into.

I think as Believers, we often get stuck in thinking about what we have been delivered from and forget to actually live in the place that He has delivered us to.

This isn't a new problem.

Remember the grumblings of the Israelites after being delivered out of slavery in Egypt? I am sure at first they simply talked about how horrible it had been in the place God had brought them out of, but after dwelling on it too long, they were actually wishing they could go back! And no, the conditions of where they were may not have been wonderful, but come on! They were living under the favor and covering of the One True God! They were delayed from moving into a greater place of communion with and provision from the Lord, not because God hadn't made it available, but because they only had eyes to see what the Lord had delivered them from and not the place of new life and growth that He had moved them into.

"But it was because the Lord loved you...that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery...know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God , keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments."Deuteronomy 7:8-9

Praise God! He has delivered us from death! But that is only the beginning! What He has delivered us INTO is a fullness of life, an abundance of grace, an unfailing love, an unequalled power that can only come from the One True Deliverer.

What would happen if our lives were the fragrance of what Jesus Christ has delivered us into, rather than the stench of what He delivered us from?
What if we stopped considering ourselves first and foremost as former slaves, and actually saw ourselves as redeemed children of God, with full access to the priceless inheritance made available to us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ?

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ! In His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade..."(1 Peter 1:3-4)

We need to live and grow as sons and daughters of God rather than babies who wish they could go back to a place where, although predictable and familiar and seemingly safe, was a place where the touch of the Father could never be felt!
When a baby is delivered, it isn't born knowing how to function fully and completely in this place it has been delivered into, and neither are we as Believers.
We have to learn how to glean nourishment from God's Word, how to drink in His presence, how to walk in His ways, how to speak His wisdom.
But every step and stumble of the way is worth it all! What was left behind in delivery could never compare to what we have been so graciously delivered into.

"...the blood of Christ cleans up our whole lives inside and out. Through the Spirit, Christ offered himself as an unblemished sacrifice, freeing us from all those dead end efforts to make ourselves respectable, so that we can live all out for God!"(Hebrews 9:13-14 The Message)

Don't reduce your Deliverer to One who only brought you out of death...glorify Him as the One who has also delivered you into teh abundance of life in Him!
"...I have come that may have life and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

God's Left Hook

2009-05-18T12:21:00.005-04:00

I can finally chew my Trident gum again...

Short of dental work, orthodontics, or some weird diet, I realize that statement may sound rather strange. So let me back up a week and a half, to a couple of days after I had bought a value pack of Trident and to the last time I had gum in my mouth, and I will fill you in on the story- since it HAS been so long since I have written, Kim.

Anyway, it was a normal Thursday night at home with the hubby still gone doing ministry work when I got a call to help out the church’s women’s softball team. They didn’t have enough players and were going to have to forfeit. I love to play, but as of late, my schedule had not allowed me to, so, at the last minute, I decided I would go. My kids were thrilled and as soon as we got there they headed off on their own adventures while I headed for the field…first base.
Softball is nothing new to me by any means. I have played since I was little and was in effect my daddy’s little boy. This is not to say I am outstanding at the game, but I do have solid fundamentals and a driving intensity. As for playing first, I am tall, limber, unafraid of a hard or crazily thrown ball and a pretty accurate catch, so it’s a good place for me to be. My second inning in the field seemed as though it would be like any other. I was checking the outs, the runners on base, aware of my own and other players positioning, as our pitcher threw the pitch that changed my night.
It wasn’t a line drive, it wasn’t even a fair ball. It was a high hit foul, easily catchable, by my calculations and past experience, by any first baseman. So I headed off in a dead sprint to make the easy out…

..…doing good, eye on ball, glove in air, other hand prepared to help trap ball…but then I had a thought….
”Where is the fence that I know is in this direction that I remember is broken and had a pole sticking out and oh my goodness! I remember when Jarrett didn’t pay attention to where the fence was and he ended up getting stitches right between the eyes, so I better glance, as I am in this sprint toward the ever looming fence, to see where it is so I don’t…BAM!(I slammed my fingers on the keyboard really hard when I typed that!)

Yes, BAM! TY-YOW! POP! POW! Any of that onomatopoeia would suffice to explain the split second it took for that not-so-softball to miss my glove and plummet into my chin/jaw.

It rather stunned me, I have to say. I remember thinking, “What just happened? DID that really just happen?” I had never moved my head from the direction of the ball, with my face and chin remaining up in the air to see the ball and make the catch. I had, however, slightly and quickly glanced to my left, and that was all it took for the ball to find a landing pad on my face rather than in my glove.

After impact, I took my glove off and thanks to Jesus, sat down calmly on the ground. I couldn’t really feel my jaw at the time so I reached up to try to see if my teeth were still there, and assess the damage. ALL my teeth were in place, praise the Lord!
But I was bleeding from a gash inside my mouth and had to spit out the blood over and over. This plus gum in the mouth is NOT a pleasant combo. So as everyone was huddled around, I spit out my small white piece of Trident gum. This elicited a rather overwhelming guttural response from onlookers who thought I had just spit out a tooth! Even through the pain, that was funny- and no- NOT intentional! (Thanks, Ashley, for being willing to pick it up had it actually been my tooth!)

And that my friends, was the last time I had gum in mouth until today.
Chew, chew, chew.

Oh since that night there have been many other “milestones”: not having to sleep with ice on my face, not drooling when I drink something, not having to sleep with cotton wedged in my gums, not having people stare at me like Jarrett took a swing, not having someone tell me I have something on my face, not having to cut all my food in little bitty pieces…and all these things came into my life because I had a split second thought that took my eye off of the ball.

I have thought about that moment so much over the past week and a half. What I did, what I should have done, what I could have done differently. You know, the sad thing is, the ball wasn’t even in play. It was a foul ball. I could have let it go, but I didn’t because I wanted to make the easy out. I chose to go after it, then I got distracted by what may or may not have been close enough by to cause a problem.

I all too often play out this same “game” scenario in my spiritual life. I go after good things, but not the best things, determined to make the easy play, then I get distracted. I take my eye off the ball. And the next thing you know…BAM! At least if I had been looking at the ball and missed it, I could have shielded myself from the impact. But I was looking at the distraction.

Matthew 7:13-14(The Message) says, “Don’t look for shortcuts to God…the way to life-to God!-is vigorous and requires total attention.”

I had taken a smidgen of my attention and placed it in the wrong place and the result was a painful wake up call.

There are so many distractions in my life, some of which are my welled intended pursuits and well thought out precautionary measures. Despite having a good basis in the fundamentals, I go after the wrong things, play it too safe, and or just don’t pay attention at all! The problem is simply this: I take my eye off of Jesus and His purposes for my life. The plays he asks me to be a part of are “vigorous”. The things of the Spirit I am to run after “require total attention”.

He reminds me in Isaiah 66:2 , “But there is something I’m looking for: a person simple and plain, reverently responsive to what I say.”

He simply wants my focus and my obedience.
Nothing good comes from entertaining deadly distractions.
LIFE comes from setting your heart and mind on Jesus.

Believe me, my chin and my gum deprived mouth know all about it.

“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words to build a life on.”
Matthew 7:24

Father, give me the courage and strength to make YOU the center of my attention in a world that throws distractions at my face at every turn! Empower me to do what you require in Matthew 7:21- “serious obedience-doing the will of my Father.” I don’t want to be guilty of adding you to my life like some impressive decoration. I want to be obsessed with You and the things of Your Spirit so that the glory is Yours and Yours alone. Help me keep my eyes, my heart, my spirit, my life, my words, my everything focused on You! Amen.

“For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.
To Him be the glory forever! Amen.”
Romans 11:36

Mother's Day with my black and blue chin!

Looked more like Father's day with my 5 o'clock shadow!

One Foot In Front of the Other

2009-02-10T09:35:00.004-05:00

So...many of you may or may not know that as of about a month ago I began a journey. It all began as trip with a planned destination, filled with fanciful mental images of what it will be like when I one day arrive at said destination. But then I realized that this "glowing journey" is more like a grunt of a road trip down the back dirt roads in a convertible.

Yes, such would describe the "journey" I began in order to break through my weight loss plateau- ok who am I kidding- gain, and sculpt my body into something that it is bound and determined not to be after 3 pregnancies and years of lethargy.

Over the years, I have Tae-Boed, Power 90ed, Karated, Slim in Sixed, Booty Camped, Turbo-Jammed my body and yet I still have thighs that one of which is the size of most teenage girls' waists and a stomach that defines the phrase "this is how I roll." And yes, I can still hear my underarm flab slap up against my sides when I make sudden movements. Eww. Yes, I know.

That was when I didn't know Jack.

No seriously...Jack is the name of my trainer, now. And my fat is his sworn enemy...and I am so not kidding. Oddly enough, I am thankful for that- even though his inventions of torture have brought me to my knees before the porcelin god(once, ok once!)

Quitting is not an option with Jack. Pausing momentarliy, maybe, quitting- no. He quietly, yet firmly and confidently tells me where to start, where to finish each round, each set and tells me I can even when all of me is screaming "NO! FAT GIRL CANNOT!" And he even pretends not to be scared as I walk about with hair distrewn, red-faced, sweat pouring, mascara smeared from one ear to the other. He tolerates my hollering through that last set, quoting verses through that last round on the bag, and all the other crazy stuff I do. He just says, "Awesome!" And I believe him. Why? Because I know he has the knowledge I need. He's got the map. He is the GPS for my road trip to my body destination of heatth and fitness. He doesn't want me to quit the trip because he knows that the destination exists and I will be better and stronger for traveling there.

From where I stand right now, it really does seem improbable, yes, even impossible that what I see in the mirror could ever be even remotely close to arriving at that fanciful destination in my head. There are days when I have felt like I know I made the right turn, I know that I am traveling down the right road, but things just don't look the way I thought they would and I am confused and tired and frustrated. The road is rough, the car is sputtering, blubbering on its way.

I even stop and ponder turning around and heading home.

But then I remember I want to see this place I have never been before-I mean there have been times I thought I was there, but really, I had not taken a valid journey, I had not experienced the road trip. I tried short cuts that were quicker but that left me weak, weary and scarred...I had arrived at a mirage in the desert. I was not smarter, I was not stronger, I was not trained.

Smarter. Stronger. Experienced. Envigorated. Empowered. TRAINED.

Spiritual sculpting, spiritual growth is a lot like that.

The journey isn't separate from the arrival, the journey is the beginning of the arrival!(wow- I just re-read that...You go Holy Spirit!)

I have had many ideas about how to try to get where I know I need to go in my relationship with God, but I don't have the map. I have Beth Moored, Stormie O'Martianed, Women of Faithed, Through the Bible in a Yeared, Church Programmed, Church Attended, my spirit and yet, still had a flabby core. I didn't go to the One first who knew the exact road map that would bring about a fresh growth in my spirit, the GPS that would draw me closer to the Father.
He quietly and confidently tells me where to start and finish each day...tells me I can even when my spirit cries out, "No! No! No! I cannot!"
He tolerates my distrewn life, my red faced frustration, my sweat and tears pouring, the mess of my life smeared from one place to another.
He just says, "Awesome! Bring it all."
And I believe Him.
Why?
Matthew 11:30 (The Message)
28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

No more short cuts. I want to EXPERIENCE the journey with my Lord. I want to be trained, no matter what I look like right now...all that matters is I choose to begin the journey...because that's the first step toward arrival.

SO...I guess I have begun to arrive at a skinnier, more sculpted, but most importantly healthier self. At least the vague definition in my biceps and shoulders are telling me so...along with the soreness in my hamstrings.

As for my spirit, definitely could use a weight gain there- always- and praying that the fat chubby flesh is starved a little more every day.
"He must increase, I must decrease." John 3:30.
Good motto for body and spirit, I say.

I know for sure the Holy Spirit's got my back...and now...as for the physical part...
...well, now I know Jack.

The Most

2009-02-09T09:46:00.005-05:00

Having a parent that travels a good bit can be disheartening for a kid, but, as some of you may know from first hand experience, it can also have its perks. For instance, when my dad went to the Southern Baptist convention in Texas when I was 8, I ended up getting my ears pierced 5 years earlier than my sister because I was so "distraught" over his leaving(insert evil, manipulative laugh here....sorry Shay.) Though no where near as fantastic as my earring victory, yet still excitedly received, "surprises" from parental travel are one of those things kids just love, and I suppose, to some degree, help them get through that time of physical separation. As a parent myself, I now realize what a true delight it is to choose and give these prizes to my little ones.

While Jarrett and I were recently at a Youth Minister's conference, I called on a lunch break to check on the kids and also to get a hint of what type of prize they might would like. I happened to call as my mom was getting the kids out of school early, so they were in the school office going through dismissal procedures. My oldest, Alex(now 10!), was handed the phone first and I asked him if he would like for me to bring him a surprise. The reply was of course, yes, but, realizing that he was in the office with others' ears available to hear, he was aloof and rather unengaged in the rest of the conversation. I asked him what specifically he would like, such as a stuffed animal? a football? He responded only with a "Yes, yes, uh-huh, ok" and a few unspoken "whatever, Mama" 's. Needless to say, he was none too slow in handing the phone off to Jonathan.
After our hellos, I asked Jonathan the same question, "Do you want Mama to bring you a surprise?" His response was a genuine gasp and ,"Really? Yes!" I proceeded to ask him what exactly did he think he might want, but only got, "Ummmm..." after asking several times. I probed a final time for an answer waiting anxiously to hear in the noisy mall standing near Chic-Fil-A, cell phone to one ear, with the other ear plugged, "Jonathan, what do you think you might like for Mama to bring you?"

"Well", he stretched out, "You, the most."

My heart flipped, danced and jumped in my throat all at once as I stuttered through welling tears to make sure I had heard correctly, "Wha-what did you say buddy?"
"You, the most, Mama." he replied.

I am crying even now as I write this, yes because of the precious gift of a "Mama Moment" that Jonathan gave me, but more than that, because I caught a glimpse into my Father's heart.
The Holy Spirit whispered instantly into my spirit that day and said, "That's it. THAT is what I want to hear my children say more than anything else: I want You the MOST, Daddy. I love to give you gifts, pour out my blessings- I made you to want those things, I am the Creator of desire. So go ahead and have hopes and dreams and wants...but just want ME the MOST."

A statement by a 7 year old little boy had not only taken me to my knees as a Mama, but also to my knees as a child of God.

I realize that there is so much more to the Giver than any gift, any provision I could ever want from Him. So I just want to live my life wanting Him first, wanting Him most- no matter who is listening, no matter who is watching- I am going to tell Him as loud as I can with my voice, with my life, as many times as He wants to hear it, "Daddy, I want YOU the MOST!"

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And this is what we are!"

1 John 3:1

The Ultimate Boo-Boo Kisser

2008-09-16T11:53:00.008-04:00

Today I am physically hurting and emotionally drained from thinking about the fact that I am in pain, want it to be gone, and that it is keeping me from doing all that needs to be done. The physical pain paves the way for the guilt to drive right in for the emotional blow.

ugh.
ok... deep breath.

I have ulcerative colitis, which put me in the hospital almost exactly a year ago, but I have been fairly "flare up" free since then. Over the past few days however I have been dealing with the pain again. Fun.

As my mama reminded me this morning, it's true I have a tendency to pull away when I am experienceing any type of pain. I kind of go inside myself. I mean, it is MY pain, so I think I should be the one to have to deal with it- not everybody else. And it is easier for me to deal with it without everybody watching, you know?

I just don't like that kind of attention- the pity, I suppose. I guess part of me want others to simply acknowledge that they understand I am in pain, but I then have a hard time allowing anyone to help me through it.

For example....

When I was a little girl I would often keep my boo-boos to myself. I would go hide, or go to my mom in secret about whatever had happened.

As Mama reminded me today, "When you hurt, you hide."

And sometimes I hide right out in the open.

This one time in particular, when I was in the second grade(7 years old), I hurt my finger(I can't remember exactly what I did, but it was definitely finger related).

My mama did the mama thing and expressed her sympathy for my boo-boo, and knowing how I felt about her overreacting to my pain, went about things as if nothing had happened.

But this time, apparently, I needed more.

Thinking back to the situation, Mama said, "That time you finally decided you'd had enough of the pain, but you didn't know how to tell me."

I wanted to come out of hiding but wasn't sure how to do it.

So, I wrote her a letter.
She kept the letter...

Outside of the envelope(yes, I put it in an envelope):
To mama
From Julie.
Don't let anyone else see this.

The note:
Dear Mama,
My finger has been hurting all day. I wish you would take me to the doctor.
It hurts badly.
Sometimes you know I'm kidding, but this time I'm not.
I mean it. When I touch it, it hurts.
Please!!!!!!!!!!(big fat colored in exclamation points)
Love, Julie P.
(good thing I put the "P", right? or she might've gotten me confused with that other Julie hangin' around! Knowing my mama, anything is possible, though...)
P.S.
Don't say anything to me about this unless you take me.

I remember writing that letter.
I remember distinctly my heart beating fast when I left it for Mama to find it.
I remember thinking that I wasn't sure what to say the next time I saw her, knowing she had read it...

...but I don't ever remember wondering if she would act on my behalf.

I knew she would do what was best for me- doctor or no doctor-whatever needed to be done to comfort me in my pain, to bring healing to the hurt, I knew she would do that...even if I didn't know exactly what that would look like or mean for me.
I just trusted.

That is who she was.
That is who she is.
That is who my Jesus is.

But I had to go to her. She knew my pain, she knew I was hurting.
But I had to ALLOW her to help me.
I had to willingly receive what she had to give...
...even if it meant me being a little uncomfortable.
...even if I did not understand the process.

I remember the relief when she came to me and said, "Julie, let's take a look at your finger. I don't think I saw it closely enough earlier..."
She never brought shame to the situation for my hiding, she never laughed at my fear of admitting I couldn't do it on my own.

She simply spoke to my need.

And that is what Jesus wants to do...speak to my need...to your need.
But we have to stop hiding right out in the open.

Trusting Him is not being weak, it is knowing where to find the purest strength.
"Therefore, do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."
2 Corinthians 4:16

Your Heavenly Father can bring victory over the source of your pain, even in the middle of the hurt...if we stop hiding.
It's time to cry out "PLEASE!!!!!"- big fat exclamation marks and all!
Instead of drawing into myself, I need to draw near to Him...
...the Ultimate Boo-boo Kisser.

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord.

I wait for God my Savior;

My God will hear me."

Micah 7:7

P.S.
Don't say anything to me about this..........................................................just kidding!
Really. I'm over that......ok, ok........well mostly, anyway. ;)

Calling All Perfectionist Control Freaks

2008-09-15T01:18:00.009-04:00

At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious…it’s been a long time since I have blogged.
Not because I haven’t written, mind you, but simply because I have not posted the many things I have written. You see, I have a format in the nice, neat little world of my mind that I like to follow when writing my devotions or blogs and I put a lot of pressure on myself to adhere to that standard. There are times I lie in bed and write in my mind…I even go back and make corrections on the rough draft in my head until it’s just like I want it.
But I have come to realize that sometimes, God just wants me to write my insides out.
He doesn’t care how pretty it does or doesn’t look or whether it looks like the last thing He asked me to write or not….He simply desires for me to say YES to what He is asking me to do. To genuinely pour out what He pours in.
For all you other control freaks out there…you know what I am talking about.
We want to have everything labeled, sorted, grouped, filed away before we get before God or take an issue to Him. We even like to take in a typed, double spaced report of our well meaning attempts to rectify the situation at hand. We work ourselves to the bone to “handle” it all so that we don’t have to bother God with it in the first place.
The problem is that this desire for perfection ends up weeding God out of it all because we are so busy trying to achieve that perfection BEFORE we willingly and wholly place ourselves in His presence.
Here’s the irony: achieving anything even close to perfection outside of His presence and power is IMPOSSIBLE…so the reality is, we’re just setting ourselves up for further failure- the very thing we are killing ourselves to try to avoid!
Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us.”
Still sinners…STILL SINNERS. He loved me BEFORE I even knew how to love Him. He loved me BEFORE I even knew I needed to love Him. He loved me BEFORE. Before I was cleaned up at all…He loved me in my mess in order to make a way for me to receive- not achieve- His perfection, His righteousness, His holiness.
“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.”(Romans 5:6)
His free grace is yours and mine in spite of who we are. He sees us and knows us fully…imperfections and all. He isn’t afraid to look at your junk. He saw it in its fullness and STILL sent His Son to die on the cross in spite of it!
Focusing on how to fix what is wrong, rather than on the only ONE who can make it right, is paralyzing. Trying to do it in our own power is doing it with no TRUE power at all…and that is certainly destined for failure. We "were powerless", not "are powerless" according to verse six. We can have the perfecting power of the Holy Spirit right NOW...completely available to us when we make ourselves completley available.
Go ahead, face your junk…surrender.
Control’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
Perfection is an elusive ideal.
And Jesus…well, He even loves and sees hope for the weirdo that writes herself to sleep and uses the backspace key over and over again in her head.

Ears to Hear

2008-06-13T00:22:00.010-04:00

Tonight as I rocked my sweet little girl, I fought the urge to turn on the TV and both of us vegg into sleepytown. Instead, I snuggled her close, face to face with her blankie to her nose and her thumb in her mouth(yes, she still sucks her thumb!). Ever since she figured out that she could conversate, Caroline has loved to lay down with me and say, "Mommy, yet's tawk." In a house where we are outnumbered by males, we once again gladly cuddled close for some girl talk. After she so kindly informed me that my breath was stinky, I turned my head slightly to give her nose some relief and began talking with her about various things. I love to watch her eyes as she talks and see all the wonder that flies through the mind of a five year old with regard to what many would consider to be the most mundane of subjects.
As I squeezed her tight and told her I loved her so, so, so, so, so, so much(this is her favorite thing to say and write to me as of late), I said,"Caroline, do you know who loves you the most? Do you know who loves you even more than Mommy?" She looked at me, a bit confused that I had asked a question with such and obvious answer and said, "Yes! God!".
Determined to make our "tawk" productive and have a teachable moment, I quickly said, "Yep, you're right...but do you know why?"
She looked at me rather unimpressed, cutting her eyes in my direction and said with her facial expression alone, "Nope, but I am sure you're gonna tell me." So being a mother who hates to disappoint, I proceeded , "Because He made you. He created you. He put every piece and part of you together so you would be just the way you are."
I had finally sparked her interest. Caroline thought for a moment and then said, "Which part did He put together first?...was it my eyes?" Chuckling at the unexpected but poignant question, I said that I did not know and instead asked her what she thought.
Without hesitation she gave her final answer, "My ears."
"Why?" I asked, thinking ahead to the wisest possible answer and explanation I could give her once she finished what she had to say.
She looked at me with those big brown eyes, momentarily stopped sucking her thumb and said with full assurance,
"Because He wants me to hear and to listen to what He has to say."
As Caroline snuggled back into my chest and closed her eyes to go to sleep, it was as if she had merely repeated and then rested in a fact that she had always known...a fact she was created to know. And I sat in a stunned silence in that moment I had deemed "teachable"...a moment that a mommy had intended to turn into a teachable moment for her little girl, but what was actually a moment that the Father intended to be a teachable moment for His little girl...me.
Thank you Abba. I hear You loud and clear. Lesson learned.

“Come let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before our Maker;
for He is our God and we are the people of
His pasture, the flock under His care.
Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…”
Psalm 95:6-8

“Does He who implanted the ear not hear?
Does He who formed the eye not see?...
For the Lord will not reject His people; He will never forsake His inheritance.”
Psalm 94: 9, 14

Yep, you got it…no...wait…right a little…

2008-03-11T23:25:00.002-04:00

It often amazes me how kids can go through life oblivious to the obvious. And, how things that I find so very important and in need of immediate attention are the very things that do not rate a second glance on the child priority list. For instance, exactly how many times can one mother say in a 2 minute time period, "Brush your teeth, please.”? I would be willing to take on anyone in such a contest- I am sure I hold the record! The very things they need to do are the things they do not want to take time to do. So I nudge them along, sometimes with more muscle than others, hoping they will allow me to teach them and equip them along the way.

Just before we were going into the sanctuary at our church the other day, I looked at my daughter, who was already rather disheveled after a full day of five-year-old play, and saw she had one big speck of glitter just below her eye. Now this immediately stuck out to me, and wanting to get it off before it got in her eye, I called her to me in order to swiftly and assuredly get the job done. I calmly asked her to come to me, to which she replied, "Why?". Not too thrilled with the question, but understanding she was simply curious, I clued her in to the glitter speck resting just below her left eye and told her I would remove it for her. Surprisingly, she again did not come! Instead, she took her hand and frantically ran it all over her face trying to remove the glitter. After her first failed attempt, she became more determined to do it on her own...this time taking two hands and rubbing them over every spot on that precious little face of hers. But when she finally dropped her hands to her side, there it was...that speck of silver-blue glitter holding tight to her now reddened little face. "Now is it gone?" she asked me- rather exasperated that I had pointed the nuisance out to begin with. "Nope. Still there..." , I replied, waiting patiently for her to finish putting forth her own futile efforts, "...just come over here and let me do it for you! I can see exactly where it is!" She finally conceded and in a matter of seconds she was free to roam and play in her glitter free world!

Oh, how similarly impatient and stubborn I am in my spiritual walk with the Lord! I get so flooded in my own perceived priorities that I refuse to stop when the Lord sees something sitting in the way! Caught in my own routine and minimal expectations, I wear myself out trying to remove what isn't supposed to be there. But Jesus says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) All too often I deplete my energy by doing something through my own efforts rather than letting go and letting the Lord work in the mightiness of His strength and power: “… ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.” !(Zechariah 4:6) With such ease and perfection, my heavenly Father can not only recognize my need, but also fulfill it like nothing else ever could! The Lord doesn't just want to show us our needs; He wants to meet us at the point of our need: “The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.(Isaiah 58:11)
It takes my faith and trust, however, to allow Him work in the very area that He has lovingly and graciously highlighted as a part of my flesh that needs His touch! His Word says to, “…trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn…”(Psalm 37:5-6) It isn't enough for me to just know that I have the need, or just know what needs to be done...I have to, in faith and trust, let go, get my hands out of it and present it to God so that He can allow the fullness of His truth to get the job done :
“As for God His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is flawless, He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him…It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.”(Psalm 18: 30, 32)
Not only will I find that He is exactly what I need Him to be, but I will also find that I am far less winded and red faced in the end if I will let go from the very beginning- choosing His perfection instead of my pathetic pride-filled pursuits!

The choice seems obvious, but too often we choose to remain oblivious, just like my little girl.
What lengths does God have to go to get your attention?
He desires your priorities to be His...all for your sake.
Will you take the time...take the time to give up?
Allow His hand to touch the face of your need.

“And My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:19

Blah Blah Blah...You still there?

2008-03-04T23:43:00.003-05:00

I have found that I like to talk a lot more than I like to listen. How many times have I been talking on the cell phone only to realize when it rings in my ear that the call had been dropped five plus minutes ago...yet I've been talking away!?! Even sometimes when I claim to be listening, in reality, I am just talking in my head to myself about whatever it is I am really supposed to be listening to or about what it is I wish I were hearing. Yes, guys, you get the bad wrap about not listening- but you're not the only ones...
So why all my chatter? Well, in some weird way it is comforting. If I am talking, I somehow think I am in control...there seems to be more vulnerability in listening. As I have been diving into a study about hearing God speak, He started it all for me with one simple verse-
John 10:27, "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me."
So as I drove home tonight in the clearing thickness of a stormy night, my headlights briefly lit a pasture's edge, and I thought about how much more there was that I could not see. I began to think about what it must be like to stand out there in the middle of night, simply in the middle of darkness. The Lord brought back to me the depth of His truth from that scripture. You see, Palestinian shepherds led their sheep- they did not drive them. The sheep followed because they knew their own shepherd's voice. But think about what it would be like to stand outside in the middle of that darkness and storm and have to be quiet to listen for the voice of the Shepherd. "Be still and know that I am God"(Psalm 46:10)-that seems more difficult and impractical when surrounded by the dark and unknown...but my incessant calling would only drown out the very Voice of direction and protection that is longing to draw me nearer! I only need to call out once because His ears are already intent on me. He knows me. But I can only be led if my ears are intent on Him. The "knowing God", like in Psalm 46:10, is walked out by being still because you expect to hear His voice. John 10:14 says, "...I know my sheep, and my sheep know me." It is a deep mutual knowledge. The Lord doesn't just want to know me, He wants me to know Him...to have a deep knowledge of Him...to know the rises and falls in the sound of His voice...to recognize the subtle inflections...to not have to introduce himself each time He calls...to be waited on expectantly...all because I know Him. My Shepherd wants to impart that deep knowledge to me! Each moment I spend with Him, it is His desire and His delight because He knows that I will then, "...never follow a stranger..." because I, "...do not recognize a stranger's voice."(John 10:4) The Lord wants me to understand that I am vulnerable because I stop listening, not because I stop to listen.
I don't think I am in danger of running out of words to say anytime soon....I can always think of something to talk about! BUT... the Lord is teaching me to find comfort in the silence of knowing rather than in the noise of my redundant cries.

If I could just...I mean I need to...you know I...

2008-02-26T12:39:00.004-05:00

AAAAH! All I want to do is complete a sentence and it seems as though lately I can't even do that! A freshly painted, yet not fully decorated kitchen, scrapbook pages prepped but not prepared, books of song lyrics written but not composed, flea market finds needing to be refurbished, digital photos stored and never shared, decorating items purchased yet not placed, devotional ideas noted but not fully written, green belt gotten but black belt never attained, lists made and never checked off, cabinets crammed and not cleaned...and there's more...but even this list I can't seem to complete! It seems as though I work and work, toil and labor and the pile never lessens...the epitome of the reason I HATE laundry: it is never complete!
Perception not always being reality, many reading this who know me slightly may be surprised by this revelation itself- while those who know me well may only be surprised to find that I am finally admitting how much like my mother I actually am! As I have solidly stepped into this new decade of mine now, I have to honestly look at my self and my life...and I am sometimes taken a back a the reality of who I am! The difference now is I don't run away from it as often! Here's the truth of the matter: I am wracked with incompleteness. It isn't that I get bored with one thing or another, it is that I want to be able to do them all at once, and do them all perfectly. My artistic mind goes 90 miles a minute, I get excited about possibilities, my drive to create takes over and there you have it....I have stepped into another thing that longs for completion!
So, recently, as I sat amidst these many loose ends beginning to entangle and on the verge of strangling me...the Lord showed me one area in which my perception of incompleteness did not represent failure: walking out my relationship with Him.
You see, I am made complete in Him alone: "But if anyone obeys His word, God's love is truly made complete in him; Whoever claims to live in Him, must walk as Jesus did."(1John 2:5-6)I will never "arrive" as a believer- it is a process- a process that I have to walk out and as I do, try to follow after the only perfect model for living to ever step foot on this earth: Jesus. Just like all the many loose ends around me that can never be neatly tied up all at one time, it is irrational for me to feel like I am going to "have it all together" all the time as a believer. As a matter of fact, I set myself up for the very failure I am trying to avoid when I act I though I do have it all together. Why? Because it is then that I have begun to work under my power and from my own desires. Paul reminds us of Jesus' Words to us: " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."(2 Corinthians 12:8) My flesh will tell me time and again that I have to have it all and do it all...and do it all perfectly. But the Lord will never require of me perfection that I can never attain...He will only ask me to , "...throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and...run with perseverance the race marked out for us... and to, " fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."(Hebrews 12:1-2)
The height, breadth, and depth of God's completeness, I can never fully attain...it just means I always have something to look forward to in Christ! No, I am not satisfied with my incompleteness as a believer, but like all the other things, I admit it. And by admitting it, I am embracing the opportunity for the Holy Spirit to make glimpses of Christ's completeness known in me....
Maybe now that I have admitted all the other things I haven't finished, I can embrace the "opportunity" for some family and friends to make their "completeness" known- in my garage, my cabinets, my closets, my.....no?....oh well....it was worth a shot!